by Debbie Harrower
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. How do you know when your relationship has run its course?
1. Should you stay or should you go?
How we can fall hopelessly in love with someone one moment, picture spending your life with them and then, poof! – one day you just feel *meh* about them, about the relationship.
It no longer excites you. They no longer excite you. You want to leave, but you’re not sure if it’s just a phase. So confusing!
Once that initial rush of lust and blissful happiness starts to wear off, when the rose tint of your glasses starts to fade and you see the ‘real person’ you are with, that is when you know you are entering the make or break zone.
You either still like / love the person enough to want to stick around and get to know them even better or you start feeling like you want out.
Unless whatever it is that is making you question is a complete deal breaker, I think that sticking it out for a little while past the honeymoon stage is a good idea.
You have to give someone more than half a chance.
If, on the other hand, you have been with the person for a reasonable amount of time and you feel like it’s not going anywhere or if you don’t even feel like making the effort to ‘revive’ the relationship – then stop treading water.
Do yourself (and him) a favour and move on. Time is so, so precious! You realise this more and more as you get older. Don’t waste yours in a dead-end relationship.
2. Different goals in life
People change. Life, and all that comes with it, changes our views and the way we see our future panning out.
Maybe when the two of you met, you both had the same goals for your lives. There was probably talk of marriage and children. Where you would live or perhaps even the possibility of moving overseas.
But, that was then and this is now. If one or both of you no longer want the same thing/s and neither is willing to compromise, is there a reason to stay together?
Let’s say he no longer wants marriage and children but you do? In fact you thought it was about to go that route in the next year or two, don’t you think that is a deal breaker?
Don’t let love fool your brain. Don’t think you will be able to change his mind. Let him be, and be strong enough to walk away. The time for change has come.