Soulmate vs life partner – who are you with?


by Carmen Harra

Whether you’re ‘designed by the universe’ to be soulmates or just two people who have settled for each other’s strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours …

The difference lies in whether that person is your soulmate, your heart’s other half, or a life partner, a person who shares your daily life, but lacks the components to make you a truly compatible couple.

Wouldn’t you like to find out who you’re with? After all, there’s no avoiding the inevitable question we each ask ourselves in a relationship:

Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with?
Did I settle too quickly into a relationship with a person who will never be my heart’s other half?

It’s not so much love, as it is fulfilment

Indeed, you can love many people throughout your life, but a soulmate… you feel something different for them. It’s not so much love as it is fulfilment: you feel complete now that the person is in your life. Sure, love accompanies fulfilment, but fulfilment goes much deeper than love. When you have someone in your life who fulfils you, you feel entirely whole, healed, intact, like nothing is missing from the puzzle.

True soulmate-love tales are rare

Having the experience that I do as a psychologist, I know true soulmate-love tales are few and far between. Many people are with their partner because they have chosen to settle for that, without ever really trying to find out whether that person actually is their soulmate or not.

Maybe that’s because we fear the answer. In some cases we are meant to be with someone for several years to close a karmic chapter from a prior life. In others we are meant to have children with the person, but not necessarily stay with them for the rest of our life. And sometimes we’re just confused, because we love the person one minute and hate them the next, and this melting pot of emotions doesn’t allow us to see our predestined path.

No matter which category you fit into, there are several indications which clearly outline a soulmate bond, or lack of it, between you and your partner. As we go through this list, think about your partner or potential partner and ask yourself how many of the soulmate criteria he or she fits.


Eight things you feel for your soulmate that you don’t feel for a life partner
1.It’s something inside

Describing how a soulmate makes you feel, compared to a partner you get along with is difficult. It’s more something that you simply feel. To put it in the form of an example, it feels like wanting to grab your partner and just hug them infinitely, even during your worst fight.


2. You just ‘get’ each other

Ever met two people who finished each other’s sentences? Some people will call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the tell-tale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

3.You fall in love with their flaws

No relationship will be perfect – even soulmate relationships have their ups and downs. But that bond will be much harder to break. You have to learn to work with each other’s flaws.

Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections.

Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you are, both the great and awful tendencies we all have. As we said before, a soulmate will never play up your flaws and play down your best features.

No relationship will be perfect – even soulmate relationships will have their ups and downs…

4.It’s intense

A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and (sometimes) bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during the bad, you are focused on getting over the problem and can see beyond the negative moment.

5.Us against the world

Soulmates often see their relationship as ‘us against the world’. They feel so linked to their partner that they are ready and willing to take on any challenge in life with a smile on their face, as long as they have their soulmate by their side.

6.You feel secure and protected

Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected.

7.You can’t imagine your life without them

A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from easily. A soulmate is someone you can’t imagine losing from your life. It is not someone you can envision yourself divorcing and being okay without.

A soulmate is someone you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for…


8.You look each other in the eye

Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other’s eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples do. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking into a person’s eyes when you speak to them is a sign of a high level of comfort and confidence in that person.

You can remain in or change any relationship you desire, that’s the beauty of free will

Whether you’re designed by the universe to be soulmates or just two people who have settled for each other’s strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours.

If you feel your partner is not your soulmate, you can choose to continue to be together and make the best of your relationship, or you can choose to walk away and continue your search for your other half.

To have found your soulmate is one of the precious treasures in life. If you feel your partner is your soulmate, I wish you both endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of gazing into each other’s eyes, unravelling the mysteries of the universe one star at a time.

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