It’s time to ask yourself some hard questions, time for you to be real and objective, time for you to answer why do you stay?
1. If you remove sex out of the equation, will you two still love being together or is sex the major or only reason you two are a couple?
2. If you look into the future, do you see your lover in it? Are you two long term or just passing time? You can never get back the years you waste in a relationship that is going nowhere.
3. No one is perfect, but can you stand confident before the world and claim that your lover loves you the way you deserve?
4. Can you answer without doubt the reason why out of the billions of people in this world you daily choose to love the lover you have?
5. Are you putting up with crap, allowing your lover to beat you up, cheat on you and insult you because you have a low self esteem? Are you staying because you are convinced you don’t deserve any better?
6. Since your lover came into your life, can you clearly see you have changed for the better? What value has your lover brought into your life?
7. So you want to get married, have you asked what is your motive and your lover’s motive? Why do you want to get married; for social status, out of pressure, to fit in? Or is it out of love and companionship? Marriage, like many good things, gets ruined when our motives are wrong.
8. Do you feel that you can’t share your tough, ugly and unpleasant side with your lover? Do you feel under pressure to show your lover only your good and polished side? Do you trust your lover? Are you free? If you remove the romance, are you two best friends?
9. Your man who stays with you without marrying you, don’t you think if he respected you he would make an effort to contact your parents? Don’t you think if he is serious about your future he would reach out to the parents that raised you? A king will seek to honor the queen’s roots of origin.
10. The lover you are dating, is he/she suitable for the marriage you desire to have? He/she will not change to be suitable when you enter marriage, how we are when dating is how we’ll be in marriage.
11. Are you certain God is proud of the choice you have made in a lover? When you stand on your wedding day and it is said “What God has joined together let no one put asunder”, can you confidently say God has joined you two? Is your love approved by God?
12. Will the you 20 years from now be proud of the relationship you are in today?
13. Is your current love life a good example to your children?
14. Does the lover you are with make you a priority or does he/she only pay attention to you when you beg, when he/she is horny or needs something?
15. If you were to advise someone in the exact same relationship you are in, would you advise them to stay in that relationship?
16. Do you stay because of circumstance or out of conviction? Are you convicted that your lover is the best you can ever have? Do you value your lover enough to do anything to stay together?
17. Why are you in that relationship yet you still flirt with others or look outside the relationship? Do you have personal issues in you that need to be addressed? What is missing and can you add what is missing in your relationship instead of peeping outside?
18. Are you convinced that the relationship you are in is wrong and must end but you still stay because you are scared of what people might say or scared of loneliness? This is your life, fear robs you true happiness. Your true love will not come if you are still holding on to the wrong one.
19. Are you seeing too many red flags and alarming signs warning you that your lover is not good for you but you give excuses and brush the warnings away? Act quickly before things get out of hand and you hurt deeper.
20. Are you in the right relationship, with a good lover, but you are the one messing it up? Is it clear that you are causing your lover pain and you pose a threat to the relationship unless you turn from your damaging ways?
21. With all the many ways you expect your lover to be good to you and give to you, do you also give? Are you a giver?
A relationship is something we willfully choose to enter in and choose to stay. That choice affects every aspect of our lives. That choice is a good choice if we can give many good reasons as to why we stay in that relationship; and the best reason is love- because we love and are loved!