Honey, I hate my engagement ring! …Those are words you don’t want to hear coming from your fiancée that you’ve newly engaged.

A friend of mine got engaged last Friday and all we could tell her was “wow congratulations girl” with happy yet quizzical expressions on our faces. Ask any woman… that was a rather lackluster congratulations from us and I explain that that was  because her ring – to put it mildly – is way less than gorgeous. Who am I kidding? That ring is super HIDEOUS! And the worst part is that she knows it too but can’t say anything! An engagement ring is always a big deal! The next big deal after the wedding of course.

I mean you have been waiting for that proposal since forever and it is always a long long hopeful wait and when it comes it had better be worth it! It is normal that when a woman is engaged she will scream in delight, jump up and down, hug and kiss her new fiancé, jump and scream again, admire her ring, shout a thousand “OMG’s”, admire her ring again and again then call her friends and half blushing, half ecstatic show off her ring and of course expecting the ohhhs and ahhhs and a million “OMG’s” from her girls.

In my friend’s case.. she was just smiling and saying thanks and almost hiding her hands behind her back and fidgeting with her fingers just wishing she could run and hide the ring somewhere dark.

That ring is a “suspect” gold color that makes it look fake and cheap and like it will discolor in 2.5 months, has a strange detail and markings on the band and a strange looking rock that looks like it will fall off in a week or less. If you ask me that ring didn’t cost more than ksh2000 (I will be killed for this but my intention is to save other hopeful souls 😉 )

She is in a fix though as she is too nice to tell her fiancé that she hates the ring! She loves the idea of being engaged and is euphoric with the new status the ring symbolizes so she has decided that after some time she will buy herself another ring. A ring she likes.

Gentlemen, to avoid putting yourself in such a mess (this is  thinking that your intention when engaging your girl is to make her the happiest woman in the world)…

Here is how you can go about getting  her the perfect engagement ring:

*Pay attention to your girls’ style and what she likes.

Women buy themselves jewellery all the time so take it from there. Check out her style and preference and if you can’t afford what you know she would like, take your time and look for a cheaper replica.

PS: It is important to know if she’s a gold or silver girl

*Women throw hints all the time, she can open a magazine page and point at something she likes. Take notes…it may come in handy one day.

*Ask her indirectly and well in advance to describe for you her ideal ring and take note! Or ask someone to find out for you in a way she won’t suspect.

*If the above proves to be rocket science, make good use of her best friend or her sister (they would know what she likes), or your girl pal who you are sure has extremely good taste when it comes to jewelery to help you choose.

*Just the way you take your time to look for the perfect car, take your time to look for that perfect engagement ring. Keep window shopping (remember the internet is your friend and is user friendly) until you find exactly what you are looking for.

*If all else fails, propose without a ring then make a point of taking her with you to the jeweler’s so that she can choose the ring she likes… but that will kill the romantic proposal bit.

*Don’t go too over the top just because you want to feel good when your girl shows off her bling. Get her something that she will love. If she is not into bold rings, don’t get her a bold, huge rock because she might feel uncomfortable wearing it. If she likes delicate yet opulent looking jewelery then go for just that as you know the odds will only be against you.

*Keep in mind that an engagement ring is forever, and it is supposed to remind you of when you decided to take the leap and ask her to become one with you. Therefore, it should be worth it and should be able to withstand time and other conditions that might work against it.

You don’t have to go all Harry Winston if you can’t afford and you don’t have to break banks and immerse yourself in debt either …go for what will work (you know what I mean) and remember, if it is an expensive one…insure it!