By Adele Green
At times life can be very overwhelming. During those times we often turn towards relationships and loved ones for support …
But, when they cannot meet us in this dark place where we find ourselves, we should know at least four things before we move on.
South African author of Can You See Me Naked, Adele Green, shares her lessons with us.
“There are four things I wish I’d known before I changed my life. But, because I know them now I share them to help women deal with the overwhelming process of transition.”
What happens to women when they go through significant life changes?
There are various stories that women tell themselves in order to justify a divorce.
But, I’ve found that if they have access to the right kind of information, their expectations may be more realistic.
There are various stories that women tell themselves in order to justify a divorce.
The first thing that happens when a women goes through a significant life change is that her sensitivity increases. When this happens, she turns to her partner who may not know what to do with her emotions either.
Her frustration is not about him, but her inner world of confusion
So she projects her feelings onto him and blames him for what he is not fixing.
If no-one ever tells her that this is an unrealistic expectation, she will go ahead and find a way to justify leaving the relationship.
During times of change, a woman needs her man to make her feel safe again.
If her relationship does not provide what she needs to explore her own expression of who she might be, beyond her nurturing role, she blames her relationship.
She questions if it is the right place for her, and if she even made the right choice to start with. It is not the relationship that needs fixing, but the person who requires development.
This is where the following four tips come in handy.
In order to really figure out how to deal with our relationship issues, we first need to look at ourselves. And if we do a life-audit we need to check the following:
And if we do a life-audit we need to check the following:
1. How do I support myself?
When we can let go of expecting our partners to fix our problems, we start to take our power back.
To know how to support ourselves is key, and it is not obvious as it seems. See if you can write down 10 things that you do that make you feel more energised after you do them.
2. What, how and where do I connect intimately?
Intimacy is a world where nothing is hidden. Everything is known to the extent that if our thoughts could speak, we would communicate telepathically.
This kind of relationship is desired by every woman going through a major life change. She will often continue to search until she finds this experience of intimacy.
And it does not stop there, because once she knows what it feels like, she will want more. Women will look everywhere including extreme sex to find what brings her internal world to life where she can be appreciated for who she really is.
3. What do soul mirrors mean?
Relationships have a secret purpose. Once this is understood, your perspective will do a complete 180 degree turn.
This results in new expectations and forgiveness for things you never thought you could forgive.
We discover that partners have soul contracts to help us grow. Then we learn how to re-interpret relationships and how they help us to grow in an unexpected way.
4. How will I use my voice when I find it, to live my purpose?
Many women, while they discover their inner wisdom, want to make the world a better place and make a meaningful contribution.
All too often they start talking about what they learnt before the message is fully understood. Their voices are loud but not always clear.
When you are aligned with your purpose, what you do with it is a conscious process as you are led by your own intuition. When you pay less attention to what makes sense and more attention to trusting yourself, your true purpose is often revealed right in front of you.