How a woman becomes a nag

Dealing with abuse

No man loves it when a woman nags, no man would commit to a woman who nags. When he started loving her, when he married her, she was not a nag. How did she become so nagging? Below is a common step by step trend that leads a woman from being so warm and loving to a nag.

1. She is beautiful and warm, he falls for her.

2. He treats her as special, she falls for him.

3. He commits to her. Promises to make her his priority.

4. She gets used to him treating her like a queen.

5. He knows she belongs to him and will do anything for him.

6. They both get too comfortable with each other. No more apologies when wrong is done.

7. He gets too busy for her or starts to admire another woman/women.

8. She feels like they are drifting apart. She confronts him.

9. He belittles her fears. Makes excuses. Telling her to relax, everything is OK between them.

10. He drifts even further away without a warning.

11. She feels threatened. She feels his effort are no longer towards her.

12. He spends less time with her. Their conversations become brief, mere pleasantries, or reminders of a to do list.

13. She starts to question how sexy she is, questioning her beauty and power to keep him interested in her.

14. He comes back full swing. Allaying her fears. They kiss, romance…

15. She is happy, thinking things are like before.

16. He drifts even further away. Her woman instincts tell her she is losing him.

17. She complains to him. He finds her too demanding.


18. She keeps begging him to make time for her, gets angry, calling him names. He thinks she will love him no matter what. He thinks he already knows her, what’s the point of spending more time with her?

19. She takes matters into her hands, plans dates for him, asks that they go for counselling, damage control. She acts likes she doesn’t care then shifts to panic mode. He thinks she is being too much.

20. He starts to forfeit his responsibilities, avoiding her. If he is a dad, he fails to be there for his child/children. The home is boring and cold.

21. He claims she is too desperate and draining and avoids her yet all she is asking for is his attention. He starts spending more time on less important things than with her.

22. Her demeanor changes. She is no longer sweet and cuddly but combative and defensive. She feels betrayed and let down.

23. She starts being suspicious of him, snooping his phone, following his moves, not believing his words, talking down at him.


24. He feels he is being disrespected, being treated like a child, treated like a suspect having to explain everything. He forgets he used to inform her all his movements when they were loving to each other.

25. She no longer trusts him with her heart, her words become spiteful. Out of hurt she says things she’ll regret. She attacks him, how little he does, how less of a man he is, how much of a failure he is.

26. He attacks back. Insults her, some men even get physical.

27. She remembers his insults and uses them against him. She cries but he is no longer moved by her tears.

28. They are at war with each other. None feels understood, they look for an escape; maybe drown in alcohol, have an affair, become a workaholic, pornography addiction or keep busy in church activities or just other activities.

29. They can’t stand each other. No smile, no love.

30. They live together though with difficulty, or they break up, or get a divorce.

31. Time goes by and they realize how good what they had was. He looks for her wanting to start doing the good things he used to do for her, but is it too late? Is she too hurt and has she messed things up with her nagging ways?

Man, always remember a woman doesn’t start nagging for no reason, something triggers it. When you started to love her, you made her feel special, you did her good; and for as long as she feels she is loved up and is your priority, she will not nag or drain you.

Lady, learn to control your emotions. How you react to challenges in your relationship/marriage determines if you will pull him towards you or push him away. How you react to storms will determine if you and him make it through or things between you two will get complicated. You have the power to attract him and sober him up just like you did the first days; don’t lose your balance!

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