What if I told you that Science could guarantee you a chance at true LOVE. A chance to love smarter, to fall in love with anyone, to connect with another vulnerable heart, love “brewed in a lab”… would you go for it?
Mandy Len Catron (an English and Creative Writing teacher at the University of British Columbia) swears that the 20 year old study ‘The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness’ by psychologist Arthur Aron is the truth! She claims that she was able to find love by answering the 36 questions followed by the simple task of gazing into the eyes of her now lover for 4 minutes.
With this study, Arthur intended to test the theory that it is possible to make two people fall in love by sharing intimate thoughts and memories about each other. The 36 questions and the small task of gazing into each other’s eyes lets you find out how you can love smarter scientifically and that you hold the power to plot your way to love.
With these questions, you get completely “naked” with a willing participant because you get to reveal who you truly are by describing yourself from childhood to your current situation.
The experiment is said to be a straightforward scientific process by which two people can create the right conditions in which they might potentially fall in love. From the responses you get you should be able to tell if this is “your person” as you are supposed to be sincere and try not to give perfect answers but answer the questions truthfully. The 36 questions and task encourage the atmosphere of intimacy that romantic relationships thrive on and help pave the path to love.
Care to fall truly, madly, deeply in love with someone soon? Get them to participate in answering these 36 questions with you.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
The 36 questions can also help create a stronger bond between friends.
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
…Now gaze into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.
PS: You can write to me and let me know if you found your love in 36 questions 😉 .