Moving in together before marriage…bad idea!

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Once upon a time a guy gave his girlfriend keys to his apartment just three weeks into dating.  The guy was 30 while the girl was only 20.Of Course the girl was super excited! And her friends too! They took it as a sign that he was serious about the relationship and that he wanted to work on it , get married and live happily ever after! The real story however, was that the guy was tired of coming home from work to cook and then clean up after himself and so he came up with the premature key-giving strategy.

Of course if someone gave you keys to their house and you popped in once or twice and found the house in a mess, it’s natural that you’d want to clean it up so as to leave someone with a good impression of you. And when a relationship is still new and fresh, you want to impress each other as much as possible. ..At this point maybe I should say that their relationship didn’t work out as the girl was spoilt and lazy and never cleans after anyone…even after herself!

*Some guy friend of mine needed someone to split house rent with when things got thick and that’s the reason he asked his girlfriend to move in and she excitedly said yes!

Shacking up with your partner is a huge step! So huge that both of you should be ready to take the leap and be ready to face the consequences… good or bad! But you should know that in MOST cases shacking up before marriage never leads to marriage.

Well, I asked a few guys around why it is that they ask their girlfriends to move in before they are even sure they want to spend the rest of their lives together. While some insisted that their women insisted on the move, others didn’t have very good reasons while just a handful were genuine and sweet about wanting to spend more time with their girlfriends because there was something special brewing between them that they thought should be sealed with the move.

While moving in together can be a powerful step into strengthening and cementing your relationship it can do the reverse of that too. When you look at it…You will remain either happily or unhappily unmarried to each other.

Just in case you have been asked by your partner to move in, you need to think about it really hard. Is he asking for the right reasons, or is he doing it for practicality’s sake or for his gain only? Shacking up is a very serious step and if you make the wrong move, you will be sent to start back at one.

Check out the following exceptions for when to move in with your partner and if you can answer yes to most of them then by all means move right in.

 So…IF:

*You are past the honeymoon stage meaning you’ve dated for more than six months (before then you know that you and your partner can never see wrong in each other).

*You spend every day together. You spend more than five consecutive nights at your boyfriend’s house.

*You cannot get enough of each other. You feel like something is amiss when you are in your own bed and he’s not there yet you’ve been together for over six months.

*You can solve problems together without the other person storming off and threatens a break up.

*You both want the “moving in together” to happen and have clear plans about the future that include each other and all your plans are in sync

*You know what it means to be in each other’s face throughout and you are ready to stomach it

*Your belongings are at each others’ apartments. This sends a sign that you are already ok with sharing space

*You both have a clear picture of the relationship after the honeymoon stage (6 months)

*You have a clear plan of action. Like how to deal with bills etc and you are both on the same page

*You are ok with adjusting some routine things for the sake of your partner

*You want to spend the rest of your lives together and both of you can clearly see a future with each other

*Your life plans are at par and you want to be together at a certain point in a given period of time

When he asks you to move in with him you should both sit down and talk about it at length and go through the pros and cons together. Don’t do it for practicality’s sake please…I repeat. Do it because it’s the right thing to do.

Don’t move in just because you think the move will make him propose to you or just because he asked. Living together and sharing space  is a compromise. Think about how much you enjoy each other’s company. Hang out with each other often and if you still can’t get enough of each other then go ahead and move in together. The more you spend time together the more you get an insight into what it would be like to live together.

If you enjoy your space, all of it (like yours truly does) then you will definitely need to wait until you get hitched. But remember spending weekends at each other’s house can also help you get to know each other so it’s ok to hold off shacking up until your status changes in Holy matrimony.

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MAUREEN OJUNGA

Maureen Ojunga is the newest Health enthusiast in town. She is also a gadget freak and a lover of all things WINE! Besides being a lover of life, she enjoys writing Relationships and Sex pieces and is also an Interior design junkie.

  • its among the worst thoughts one should ever have………

  • Dona

    Well i can tell you right now that sometimes the Men ask for the wrong reasons and in the real sense end up marrying that woman for the fact if she leaves, he is going to be very disturbed @ the same time its very dangerous especially if Kids are involved then both of yáll are stuck in the middle.But as they *whoever did* said, Love is blind.Well i know that it is not.In fact Love is the biggest eye opener one can find.All in all to be happy in Life, one must do the right thing in Life which is Move into their Matrimonial home or Stay Single, Beautiful,Successful and Lonely old Man/Woman.#thatisall

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