May 16, 2011 – Whether or not to have a Mpango wa Kando is a million dollar question and the answers are even more expensive.
There are several reasons why it should or should not happen. People like to ask: Is it completely necessary? Do couples find it impossible to be made happy by one person? Is it an important part of adding spice to the sex lives of individuals?
As it is with things that have completely individual reasons, the jury will be out on that one until the end of days.
I strongly believe Mpango(s) wa Kando or Mpango wa Kando(s) usually signal the end of a relationship or the beginning of strained ties between partners. But I do wonder why people must go through it in the first place.
Could the issue be compromise? Have we hooked up with people because we are lonely or just because they are the best to have crossed our paths in a long time and we don’t want to die young?
Is it impossible to find someone who makes your heart spin, that feels exactly the same way about you? At home, where charity begins, men are usually advised to look for women who will be good mothers, while women are asked to look for men who would love them more.
What the result of this in the long run is an unhappy home, where partners stay longer than necessary because they are not courageous enough to say: “Hey, I’ve had enough!”
Rather than walk out, they endure bad treatment from their partners: women no longer show their men love; men look for happiness out of the house and many times (for each) it is futile and just as frustrating.
The questions that keep people in listless relationships are: what if I don’t find anyone else? What if we can eventually patch things up and make it work? We’ve moved in together and have a mortgage, so what happens now?
If you’re in a fiery relationship, keep the fire burning. If you’re not so lucky, maybe you should try and leave. But if it’s something you can work out like, lack of communication, whose turn is it to cook and I need the car this week because I have a better job, get with it!