Mpango wa Kando = million dollar question




May 16, 2011 – Whether or not to have a Mpango wa Kando is a million dollar question and the answers are even more expensive.

There are several reasons why it should or should not happen. People like to ask: Is it completely necessary? Do couples find it impossible to be made happy by one person? Is it an important part of adding spice to the sex lives of individuals?

As it is with things that have completely individual reasons, the jury will be out on that one until the end of days.

I strongly believe Mpango(s) wa Kando or Mpango wa Kando(s) usually signal the end of a relationship or the beginning of strained ties between partners. But I do wonder why people must go through it in the first place.

Could the issue be compromise? Have we hooked up with people because we are lonely or just because they are the best to have crossed our paths in a long time and we don’t want to die young?

Is it impossible to find someone who makes your heart spin, that feels exactly the same way about you? At home, where charity begins, men are usually advised to look for women who will be good mothers, while women are asked to look for men who would love them more.

What the result of this in the long run is an unhappy home, where partners stay longer than necessary because they are not courageous enough to say: “Hey, I’ve had enough!”

Rather than walk out, they endure bad treatment from their partners: women no longer show their men love; men look for happiness out of the house and many times (for each) it is futile and just as frustrating.

The questions that keep people in listless relationships are: what if I don’t find anyone else? What if we can eventually patch things up and make it work? We’ve moved in together and have a mortgage, so what happens now?

If you’re in a fiery relationship, keep the fire burning. If you’re not so lucky, maybe you should try and leave. But if it’s something you can work out like, lack of communication, whose turn is it to cook and I need the car this week because I have a better job, get with it!

Good luck.


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  • Karani Mutonga

    This is a timely piece of article Laura…whether you have a mpango wa kando or not your woman will always mistrust you. Women are angels when we meet them. One year, two years and there comes the seventh tear itch. You buy two tickets for a movie planning to surprise your wife, something comes up and you do not go for the movie, your wife finds the tickets and she becomes hysterical even without waiting for your explanation…My wife found a photo of me and a friend of mine in my laptop during a burial ceremony. She was hysterical calling me all manner of names…mind you the photo we are talking about here was taken in 2008 and we were just posing. There was nothing unique coz all my pals had paused with her also.

    Figure out this, your woman calls you during the day and hears voices of females in the background and she is demanding to know who they are…you are in a public place.

    You receive a call and it was wrong number but your wife is demanding to know who the person is…come on, for how long can you stomach this!

    Our wives push us to have a mpango wa kando. Women should accept the second wife officially, it is the only way to tame a man.

  • ivorydancer

    Human Beings (mammals) respond to primal instincts too! Only that we have the brains to think above mere instincts and have therefore been socialised to suppress what you would ordinarily do when it goes against the "social grain" – or hide it.

    Mpangos have their place in keeping the "main" relationship together. There, I said it!! More often than not, the mpango provides an escape that you cannot get at home. So when you do get back home, you aresatisfied and can get back to the business of running a home,raising kids, taking **** from each other etc – whenever you're in close proximity to someone for prolonged periods of time, you tend to dish out **** to each other.

    Monogamy is like swimming upstream. Very taxing and you have to keep fighting to maintain the swim. It's much easier to just wachilia and go with the flow – pun intended. But this brings up the problem of loosing control, not to mention the rapids and the waterfalls along the way as you just float downstream. But then again, swimming against the current DOES make you stronger. Mashida!

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