February 7, 2011 – After the struggle, they sat on opposite ends of the room panting.  How it had come to this, none of them knew. Sex had become a chore. No satisfaction. No feelings, just more hurt. Anna pulled up the sheets to cover her shoulders.
She felt rejected and unwanted. It was just three weeks before,  that Nesta had proposed to her during a romantic dinner. Now he looked at her as if she had left a bad taste in his mouth. Funny how things change in the blink of  an eye. Deep down, she knew this was the end. She would never see him again. She could feel her heart bleeding. She looked at him as he lit his cigarette and took in a long drag. She felt sick. Men are monsters…

A man can be vague in describing what he wants, but he can effortlessly state what he doesn’t want with confidence coupled with the fewest words possible.

…

Nesta’s first girlfriend was called Allen. A virgin. She was the nice ‘my mother would love you’ type. Pleasant, faithful and caring in every way. She would call him everyday and tell him how much she loved him. At times she would invite him over and cook for him. She had no fault. Their love was a dream especially since it was the first time in a relationship for both of them. Nesta was ever thankful that he’d found a woman who felt right in every way. He didn’t even mind that Allen had made him promise they’d only have sex once they were married. He didn’t care, he loved her with his heart.

He would often surpirise her with nice gifts and thoughtful messages, just as a good man should. Two months into the relationship, Allen started acting different. She became busy and all of a sudden, she was angry at everything. She was always complaining. Then one day she called him up and gave him the familiar ‘you’re a nice guy – it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, and their relationship was no more. Nesta later learnt that she’d met someone else. He came to understand why later.
He was 22 and she was 19. She needed someone older and more mature.

He was 25 when he met Shisha who was 23. She was a sassy career woman who looked a bit too mature for her age. At 6 feet tall, she was dark, sexy and composed.  She blew his mind the first time he saw her at the grocery section of the supermarket. It was a mixture of awe and lust at first sight. He asked her out and a week later they had sex. It was spontaneous and addictive. She was experienced and he was eager to learn. She became his ‘good’ friend and that was it. He avoided asking her out because he had noticed something peculiar about the way she behaved when they were in public.

She was always overdressed even when one would expect a woman to be casual, say on a loose day. Shisha knew a lot of people especially men. She claimed they were business acquaintances. At one time it was her former boss, another time it was her colleague. Nesta always wondered why her eyes were always darting about whenever they were seated in a public place. She would zone off looking at men every now and then. This was very uncomfortable for Nesta. In the end, after complaining for a while, he decided to let her go. True enough, she immediately found herself a man who looked like a character from a luxury yatch commercial. Rich and carefree. She calls every now and then asking for a second chance. Nesta will hear nothing of it. After all, even though he is comfortable financially , he still doesn’t feel worthy of her.

For the next two years, Nesta would chase after women, lay them and chase them off early the morning after. At least that was his lifestyle until he met Valerie. She was also a career woman but a bit different. She liked to party and had many friends.
They had so much in common that they could spend hours talking and arguing. She seemed to know a bit on everything. Val also happened to be a great cook and an equally outstanding partner in bed. She also didn’t seem to be in a hurry to be in a relationship. He liked it. One thing he noticed however is that she was out partying too often. He hated calling her because she’d most likely be in a noisy place. This didn’t change even after they started going out. Nesta tried to hold things together in the relationship and day by day she became distant.

She was shocked when he told her he wanted out. Val clearly hadn’t seen this one coming. She cried and felt she had been wronged and misinterpreted. All Nesta could tell her was that he still couldn’t feel like she was his girlfriend.

After Val, there was Sue who at first looked like the perfect woman (they all do!). She played him from the first day. He only got to know about it two years later. And then there was Anna and now there was none…

A man is never a man unless he has been passed through fire. We learn from experience, simple logic, trial and error. Nesta plans to ‘hang around’ for a very long time. Long live the jackal!

…

You went out and did everything

Made me stay at home

But all the time while you were out there girl

I wasn’t always at home alone

– Double You from the song Who’s fooling who

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