Sex, pleasure and climax are things every woman should experience. However, female orgasms are so elusive that many women have confessed to faking it severally in their sex life.
Female sexuality and pleasure has for centuries been feared, shrouded in shame, considered immoral and not spoken about openly in our communities.
The Sauce caught up with a Nairobi based gynecologist Dr. Claire Kinuthia alias They Call Me Daktari to find out how women can reach orgasms successfully.
Tips for women to achieve orgasms
1. Sex Is Not Dirty
A large majority of women do struggle however when it comes to climaxing with a partner. The first step is to let go of the notion that sex is a sin and that you are bad for wanting pleasure in your sex life.
Note: Not all women struggle to achieve orgasms, and many are quite successful at it during self-play sessions.
2. Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay…everywhere!
We need to understand that women are like an oven, it takes time to heat up and get our arousal going so foreplay should be considered a very important part of sex.
Foreplay isn’t just something that happens physically in the bedroom. Couples should take the time to engage in mental and emotional foreplay e.g., sharing messages and romantic gestures from the start of the day as this will go a long way in the lead up to the act later on. Do whatever you’re both comfortable with to get things started.
3. Safe space
Women need to feel safe and know that they can trust a partner in order to relax enough to achieve climax with them. This safe space should be cultivated proactively in the relationship.
4. Explore your body
Women should take the time to understand their own bodies and discover what works best for them. It is not a sin to get to know your own body and learn what turns you on.
5. Communication is key
Open communication with your partner is the next step. They cannot read our minds and so it is important to cultivate a culture of regular conversations in a relationship in order to share exactly what works best for you.
6. Let go and enjoy!
Finally, get out of your head and enjoy being with your partner. Stop worrying about your body and the things you don’t like about it. Most partners simply don’t care and are excited to enjoy being with you.
Dr. Kinuthia believes achieving orgasms for women is a skill that needs to be taught openly in our sex education programs from early on, in an age-appropriate manner.
Orgasms don’t just have to necessarily come with sex. Some women even experience orgasms spontaneously doing day-to-day activities. The increased blood flow to the genitals and vibration of or contact with the clitoris or the general relaxation of a massage can also make it happen.
The world annually celebrates International Female Orgasm Day on the 8th of August. The day was established by Brazil to celebrate a woman’s right to reach sexual climax.
