When a man is fed up!

I might have just left the party before 10pm and I am regretting it! Someone once likened getting married before at least turning 30 to leaving a party before 10pm when it hasn’t really started kicking and that’s exactly what I did. I married my first girlfriend ever… and at 27!

I have always tried to live by the book and do everything right. At 24 and in my final year of college I met this awesome girl who was in my Finance class and we started dating… (Maybe I should explain that I used to be a very closed minded person as I always believed there’s only one way to do things –the right way- and I never took any risks)… We both graduated at the same time and got our first jobs almost at the same time earning almost the same salaries.

She had been a nice girl all along but after the job she became somebody else. She would go out most weekends get drunk and sometimes she’d almost forget that I existed. At some point we grew so apart and so different but I still loved her. I tried my best to make things work and when we clocked 3 years together I asked her to marry me. Probably the worst mistake ever because it was more like jumping from the frying pan and into the wild fire! After the wedding, the late drunken nights continued and many a night I would wake up in the middle of the night to open the door for her and she’d literally pour right inside the house.

It is then that I started noticing how unhappy I had been all through the past two years. My colleagues who are my age mates are having the best time of their lives. They are not married and they are having a ball!  I hear their stories which entail LIVING! Something I haven’t quite done! They even look lively and perform well at work and that’s how I realized I left the party a tad too early. I should have lived a little. But I’ve now loosened up…however late!

On this other side, my marriage is a wreck! Noise, tantrums and nagging is what I go home to every evening. My wife is now with child, and we are 4 months in! Sometimes I even have to go to the kitchen and make myself dinner and that is after I’ve had the longest day at work. After I’ve cooked she’ll jump right in with forks and knives and enjoy the meal. She claims to be very tired because of the pregnancy.

She doesn’t chip in with bills at home (she has never done so, since we moved in together even before we got married) and she wouldn’t be bothered to do so. I don’t even know what she does with her money. Sometimes the fights are just too much I’m tempted to move out and leave her the house with everything in it. The only problem is the baby on the way and of course I know things will just get worse when the baby arrives.

This was my first girlfriend ever! And I married her…I should have at least waited to take in and sample what the world has to offer. Now I feel trapped and I just don’t know what to do anymore as I’m running out of patience. Most evenings I don’t feel like going home so I stay in the office and give myself extra work (my boss thinks I’m the most dedicated employee). Sometimes I just hang out with the boys then go home very late…of course to noise and drama. I can only imagine a happy marriage in my head.

What to do? I am fed up!

Signed,

Fed up Marto

 

 

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11 Comments

  1. Avatar fredrick July 5th, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    hahahaha “(my boss thinks I’m the most dedicated employee)”. My 2 cents, words from my father “Your 1st girlfriend will never be your wife, if so, you are destined for trouble.” If you had to marry her, you should have sampled what’s out there 1st then go back to her as your final choice. FYI “I’m still in the party till early morning”

    Reply
  2. Avatar Cris July 5th, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    its never too late! better late than never move out man!

    Reply
  3. Avatar Larry July 5th, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    You saw it coming but did not take it seriously. Now you have no option but bringing in another nice woman who will show her how to treat a man.

    Reply
  4. Avatar Augus July 5th, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    That woman needs you man. But tame her. Move out for a month. Give her absolute deaf ears. If she doesnt follow you, have fun and and in the process meet someone new.People break up and remary at 50.

    Reply
    1. Avatar Trixy July 5th, 2012 at 2:24 pm

      I Agree with part of his suggestion. You need to teach her a lesson. Just don’t look elsewhere just yet. Give it time, and ask her how she would feel if you always came home at 4 am, drunk, never paid bills, never took care of her and never did anything…where would you two be if it wasn’t for you. She needs to look at herself in the mirror and see the person she has become. Maybe she also feels frustrated that she didn’t explore, but that doesn’t mean things can’t work. My opinion, talk about it…express how badly you feel, even if she gets hurt. You could also tell her you need time out, as Augus says. She might wake up! You never know what she could be going through, until you communicate.

      Reply
  5. Avatar Tush July 5th, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    ever heard of ‘its our turn to eat’!!! now its ur turn 2 ‘pour into ur house’ bt if u lv her as u claim, just man up and tame her-its not lyk shes from nyeri ama?

    Reply
  6. Avatar Third Eye July 5th, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    hahaahahaaa! You just made up this story! Although real in our real life experiences, I’ve noted a few inconsistencies, and therefore, no suggestion other than congratulating you guys for a creative way to get us blindly engaged on this platform. Keep it up.

    Reply
  7. Avatar Dr. Real Deal July 5th, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Boss…Stop kidding yourself! A marriage founded on the wrong basis usually ends its journey on the rocks…You both got married for the wrong reasons, and didn’t take the time to know each others’ hopes, dreams and aspirations…. So after getting married, she realized she has the freedom now and the money to spend…and she is spending it like hell. That she is pregnant and assuming it’s yours, also proves you have been enjoying some conjugal, hence the illusion that she still loves you..
    Well, she might be still in love with you, but my brother you are being taken for the ride of your life…and not the good kind!
    If you are christian, Proverbs prescribes: “It is better to live on the rooftop than in the same house with a nagging woman!” It also suggests that a nagging woman is like water dripping from a tap!” Even non-christians will admit that these tenets are true, and they are very difficult sircumstances to live under. My two cents is RUN FOR THE HILLS!! and don’t look back. Make arrangements to take care of your unborn child and her mother (thank God for Mpesa), and save yourself a LONG LONG life of misery thereafter! You are ONLY 27 for crying out loud. Do you really think you are going to handle all that CRAP till the age of 47?? at the very least?? There is a life out there for you. Go find it.

    Reply
  8. Avatar kiqie July 19th, 2012 at 11:09 am

    the early the betta…dont stay tied for the rest of ur lyf…u disav to be happy

    Reply
  9. Avatar hais August 9th, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    the biggest mistake a man can do is to marry sb hoping that she’ll change in marriage. u should not have married her after she started partying leaving you in the house.

    Reply

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