I might have just left the party before 10pm and I am regretting it! Someone once likened getting married before at least turning 30 to leaving a party before 10pm when it hasn’t really started kicking and that’s exactly what I did. I married my first girlfriend ever… and at 27!
I have always tried to live by the book and do everything right. At 24 and in my final year of college I met this awesome girl who was in my Finance class and we started dating… (Maybe I should explain that I used to be a very closed minded person as I always believed there’s only one way to do things –the right way- and I never took any risks)… We both graduated at the same time and got our first jobs almost at the same time earning almost the same salaries.
She had been a nice girl all along but after the job she became somebody else. She would go out most weekends get drunk and sometimes she’d almost forget that I existed. At some point we grew so apart and so different but I still loved her. I tried my best to make things work and when we clocked 3 years together I asked her to marry me. Probably the worst mistake ever because it was more like jumping from the frying pan and into the wild fire! After the wedding, the late drunken nights continued and many a night I would wake up in the middle of the night to open the door for her and she’d literally pour right inside the house.
It is then that I started noticing how unhappy I had been all through the past two years. My colleagues who are my age mates are having the best time of their lives. They are not married and they are having a ball! I hear their stories which entail LIVING! Something I haven’t quite done! They even look lively and perform well at work and that’s how I realized I left the party a tad too early. I should have lived a little. But I’ve now loosened up…however late!
On this other side, my marriage is a wreck! Noise, tantrums and nagging is what I go home to every evening. My wife is now with child, and we are 4 months in! Sometimes I even have to go to the kitchen and make myself dinner and that is after I’ve had the longest day at work. After I’ve cooked she’ll jump right in with forks and knives and enjoy the meal. She claims to be very tired because of the pregnancy.
She doesn’t chip in with bills at home (she has never done so, since we moved in together even before we got married) and she wouldn’t be bothered to do so. I don’t even know what she does with her money. Sometimes the fights are just too much I’m tempted to move out and leave her the house with everything in it. The only problem is the baby on the way and of course I know things will just get worse when the baby arrives.
This was my first girlfriend ever! And I married her…I should have at least waited to take in and sample what the world has to offer. Now I feel trapped and I just don’t know what to do anymore as I’m running out of patience. Most evenings I don’t feel like going home so I stay in the office and give myself extra work (my boss thinks I’m the most dedicated employee). Sometimes I just hang out with the boys then go home very late…of course to noise and drama. I can only imagine a happy marriage in my head.
What to do? I am fed up!
Fed up Marto