The first date is unforgettable and is a very crucial one. It determines quite a lot about the future or lack thereof! It is therefore important to do and say only the right things that won’t leave your date thinking you are the biggest jerk ever to exist!
I know being yourself at all times is always the best way to go but if you know that being yourself has offended people in the past, you will need to tone down the “self” a bit…or a lot!
Everyone has a “type”-as much as some people deny it- and the first date will determine whether your types match or not. Some people are just insensitive to other people’s feelings such that after the first encounter you don’t ever want to hear from them or see them again.
When on that first date, you have to use your common sense and take your dates’ feelings into consideration. The first date is more for showing off your beautiful personality, so the insensitive stuff like “That waiter/waitress is HOT!” or “You look better in your photos” you can keep to yourself. You should reveal that nice side of you without coming off as fake or too strong as the aim of the first date is to learn about that stranger sitting across from you for the first time.
PS: Don’t reveal everything as some mystery will be highly valued.
Below are some of the things you DON’T say on that first date:
1. The ex chronicles:
*I cheat once in a while
*I broke up with my ex because I cheated!
*My ex is a psycho
*My ex this, my ex that, my ex this and that!
-These just give your date reasons to never want o see you again! Ever!!
2. Your dates appearance:
*I think you could do with a few visits to the gym!
*That hairstyle does nothing for your face
*Your make up is a tad too much doesn’t it feel heavy on your face?
*Your shirt has seen better days
*How are you able to walk in those shoes?
*You need a new pair of shoes
*You could do with a breath mint!
-Whoaaa! the first time you meet someone just don’t say any of the above! They are just so insensitive. No matter how blunt you are naturally…some things are just not said, and especially not to a person who doesn’t know you well.
3. Personal details
*I just got out of rehab
*I’m a ——holic (I love alcohol so much) my hobbies are drinking…
*I’m a ——phobic
*I want to get married and get children as soon as possible
*I want to marry two wives
_This will send one bolting for the hills at Usain Bolts speed! Come slowly! Those words just sound too scary for a first date. Even when your dates asks, keep the responses mild…until you are sure you can freely share because you have gotten to know each other better.
4. Financial and Family issues
*Please get this bill, I’m so broke! I’ll get the next one
*Can you loan me some money I’ll pay you back soon
*I swear of late I’ve been so broke, I wonder where my rent will come from
*My brother needs this and that
*I’m paying school fees for my siblings
-These issues are too personal and until you get to know someone very well, then let it be your issue/family issue and don’t involve anybody else!
5. Creepy things
*You are so gorgeous; can I take a photo of you?
*What’s the color of your panties?
*Do you have any hot friends?
-These might even earn you a few slaps!! I will not even get into it!
*What’s your favorite TV show?
*What do you think of Raila? Ruto? Mudavadi?
-These just make you look plain weird! and boring!!
Eish! Some of the above are just too harsh! If there’s something you don’t like about your date, the secret is that you don’t pursue a second date or consider furthering the relationship-leave things at that instead of telling them demeaning things and making them feel lower than dirt!
If you feel like you bonded with your date and there are things you would like them to know, wait until date 5 onwards. If you are a judgmental freak, then go look for a job as a judge!!
Just remember that if you can’t say something nice, then just don’t say anything at all!
Have you experienced or are you guilty of any of the above?