A best friend; every man needs one of these. I mean, best friends make life easier and fun plus you share a whole lot more than just laughs with them. A girlfriend/wife; every man at some point in life will definitely have one of these; it’s just one of those must haves in life. As a man you must experience at least one relationship with the opposite sex in your lifetime.
These two people (best friend and girlfriend/wife) are crucial in every man’s life, but what happens when the two most important people (i.e. outside your nuclear family) don’t see eye to eye and in fact can’t stand each others guts? What happens when you let one of the most important relationships in your life interfere with another of your important relationships?
It is understandable and even commendable that a man will keep his real friends closer than close and he will even do anything for them when there’s need, including providing an imaginary alibi if it’s to protect them when trouble arises. But then sometimes, these “bromances” can cause rifts in relationships between a man and his significant other.
Most girls don’t really like their man’s best friend especially in situations where both of them find themselves having to fight for the man’s attention.
Check out the following scenarios that involve a man, his bff and his girlfriend/wife:
You are the girlfriend/wife and:
*You are having a special dinner at your fave restaurant with your man and just after settling down, in walks his best friend shamelessly out of the blue.
*Your man’s best friend flirts with you, and when you tell your man, he says he will deal with it but his friend convinces him that you are the problem. How do you take this?
*Your man’s bff walks in every time you are supposed to be having some alone time.
*You confront your man’s bff about being bad influence on your man and he brushes you off and instead he tries to break the two of you up by spreading lies because he knows his friend will take his word over yours
*You happen to see a text in your man’s phone that says ‘The mama’s are here. Get yourself here quick!” How do you handle this?
*Your man is covering for his bff who is having an affair…what goes through your mind? Birds of a feather…?
* Your man’s bff is going through a tough time and your man offers a helping hand by letting him shack up with you guys until he gets back on his feet…how does that make you feel?
*Your man lends his bff a lot of money part of which is yours and he has gone MIA… what do you do?
*You buy your man a gift and the next thing you know his bff is the one rocking it and your man claims that he took it from him and there’s nothing he could’ve done about it!
You are the main man and:
*You have a crucial lunch date with your girlfriend to sort things out but your best bud needs you to do him a huge favor and pick his expectant wife from the clinic and drop her home because he is held up somewhere. What is your priority?
*Your girlfriend is graduating from uni and your best friend’s wife just had a baby….which one holds first priority?
*You get into a minor car accident who do you call first? Best friend or wife?
* You run out of cash while entertaining business clients, who do you call to bail you out?
* You get arrested for whatever reason, who do you call first?
*You want to purchase something huge like maybe a car or a house or a piece of land… who do you check with first?
* You get a promotion at work…who do you share the news with first?
* You lose your job…who do you inform first?
* You have a bad day at work… who do you chill out with later to make you forget about the crappy day?
As the guy: Some situations here are just super tricky. Different situations will call for different actions and it will all depend on who you think holds the highest priority. While some situations will require that you give your girl priority, there are those that you just have to share with your best friend first.
In some situations, you will need to tell your bff to butt off or to respect your relationship because as it is, you are crossing some boundaries to help him out so he had better respect that.
Every situation will require that you analyze everything so that you don’t end up losing in the end .
You have to set priorities because you know best the roles of both your wife/girlfriend and best friend in your life. You know best how it would affect you if you lost any of them because of being blind-sided. If your girlfriend/ wife walked away would you and your bff live happily ever after? Think about such repercussions and be the bigger person about it. Don’t be happy that two people are fighting for your attention because you might just end up being the biggest loser.
As the girlfriend: You have to remind yourself of your own best friend and how you love each others company. How much you mean to each other. The same way, your man needs his buddy at times. But then again, when it’s those extremes when you are sure that his best friend is bad influence, try talking to both of them and make them understand where you are coming from. Don’t make the mistake of fighting the best friend because you will have just have called for war!
Don’t ban them from hanging out as boys will always be boys. Also remember that no one can spoil someone else …your man is a grown up and he chooses to do whatever he wants whether wrong or right.
PS: Beware though that some extent of “bromance” is unacceptable. In some scenarios there could be more than you see. If your man cares more about making his ‘bromance’ work than your relationship then teren teren… Maybe your man is in a relationship with his friend and you are just being used as a cover up because he can’t come out of the closet just yet…hey, you never know. It happens!
As the best friend: You will need to put yourself in the girlfriend’s shoes. Some things have to change as you grow up. You can’t expect that life will be the same all through. There are changes and sacrifices to be made as you progress in life. You have to understand that your friend has other responsibilities and you have no right interfering in his love life. Sometimes you can even take a rain-check on your manly escapades, and even advice him that he should spend some quality time with his significant other when you sense that he is slacking in that department. After all, you will not be able to provide him with things that only a wife/girlfriend can provide. You should respect your friend’s relationship as you would also want your relationship respected. It is very important!
They say that three’s a crowd but you can always make it work 😉