People will often confuse a commitment phobic with a person who is not into you. These two characters have great similarities but believe it or not there is Love involved when dealing with a commitment phobe only it is the short-lived kind.
Commitment phobics are just normal people who are struck by fear of commitments because of one reason or the other. They get freaked out by so many things and are constantly in emotional conflict especially with themselves as their beliefs about love and commitments have been altered either by experience or observation. To some extent commitment phobes suffer a personality disorder due to this.
They are famous for creating confusion, pain and havoc in other people’s lives because their behaviors are unpredictable and insensitive.
Spotting a commitment phobe:
*1. They are very charming and they know how to get their needs met. They can easily win you over. They make the perfect boy/girlfriends in the beginning. They are very romantic and they do and say all the right things but all this is short-lived. Whenever things start to get serious they scamper!
*2. They are very attractive and successful yet they have many excuses of not having married yet considering they are past the age of marrying. They claim to not have met the right person or that there’s no need to rush things as there’s plenty of time for such stuff as marriage.
*3. They have a history of very brief relationships all of which just ended suddenly and in most cases they sabotaged themselves out of those relationships. Their sabotage behaviors include finding fault with you, working long hours and/or during weekends such that they don’t have time for you, not calling you or not returning your calls anymore.
*4. They are normally trapped between choices. Sort of like they want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be with you yet they don’t. They love and miss you when they are away from you but when you are together they freak out again telling you that you deserve to be with someone better and when you are away they will be the first to call you. They like to feel in control and only pick time frames that work for them.
*5. They are quick to spot what they want in a potential person but then they often exude indecisiveness. They want to be in a relationship because otherwise they will be so lonely but at the same time they want their space and freedom. They would rather date busy people who are rarely there or be in long distance relationships.
*6. They are very loving and in their mind they know that what you have won’t last long and so within that short time they try to give you their all. Then the calls reduce, the texts become scarce and its like they just disappeared from the face of the earth. Of course they say they will call you back but they never do. They just stop caring and ignore you completely.
*7. They are super unpredictable and often get bored very easily. They are often moody and hate planning ahead as planning ahead equals commitment! They are unreliable and are always late and sometimes they might not even turn up. They are like this with everyone including with family and friends but they are not like this with work though.
*8. They can’t handle rejection hence when you threaten or decide to leave; they are very apologetic and promise to change as they don’t want you leaving them. They prefer to do the leaving and when in a relationship with them you always feel like you are not a priority at all. In fact you often feel like the jump-off. They also prefer affairs as opposed to full on relationships.
*9. Because of their phobia they tend to be unfaithful in relationships and they lie and are evasive about where they are, what they are doing and who they are with. They are famous for playing mind games especially when their time to run is up!
*10. They often pair up with people who are not their type at all. Either people who are married, too old or too young etc, so that it is not easy to commit fully. These same differences are what they use as their weapons for excuses to end relationships.
These commitment phobes (especially the severe cases) should be spotted early before they break your heart because they are very good at that.
Remember though that sometimes, its not about them being selfish intentionally as they could be having a personality disorder and the word “forever” freaks them out!