1. All groceries must go from the vehicle to the house in one trip. It does not matter how many bags there are.
2. Thou shalt always talk s**t to each other, but never actually mean it.
3. If you’re in a conversation where girls are talking about one of your friends, and you know he likes on of them, you should always drop “good bombs” – basically subtly mention good things about him in a non-bromance way.
4. Alcohol is a form of currency.
5. Never take your buddy’s last beer without asking. Ever.
6. No grudges. You talk or fight out your differences then have a beer and get over it.
7. Do not date your best friend’s ex. Even if they say it’s fine, you simply don’t do it. It can destroy relationships.
8. Chill out. It’s really not such a big deal. This statement applies to pretty much everything, at any time.
9. Player 1 shall always fall to whomever owns the console.
10. Shotgun is a responsibility, not a privilege. If you are sitting up front, you’re not a passenger, you’re the copilot. You’re responsible for music selection, navigation, and responding to calls and texts on the driver’s phone.
11. Don’t throw a friend under the bus to impress someone. Ever.
12. When offered a beer, accept even if it’s not “your brand”. Your favorite brand of beer is “free”. Your second favorite is “cold”.
13. If it makes for a good story – do it.
14. If a guy is engaged in a conversation with a woman, don’t interrupt or try to piggyback. Find your own girl.
15. If your bro dies, delete his internet history.
16. If a bro dies while lifting, put more weight on the bar, then call 911.
17. NEVER use the urinal directly next to another man unless absolutely necessary, and for the love of all that is holy, do not speak to him.
18. Be polite around your bro’s girlfriend, but when he asks what you think, always lay the cold hard truth on him.
19. If they helped you move, you are compelled by law to reciprocate.
20. There are specific rules to the “head nod” when greeting another male. If you know them, you nod up. If you don’t know them, you nod down. Fact.
Joe Miano
