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Relationships 101: Dealing With Break Ups

couple fighting

We enter into relationships expecting perfection. But it’s never a smooth sailing, there is turbulence all around. The numerous fights and cold wars are all part of the package.


Sometimes you look back at life and wonder why you got into a relationship in the first place. The person that you once knew so well seems like a stranger and you just can’t communicate any more. Slowly, you begin to drift apart and before you realize it, the small rifts grow into a gruesome gulley and nothing you do can ever repair it. The inevitable break up point stares blankly at you, yet somehow you still want to hold on to that person. The fear that perhaps you won’t find another person that would love you as much as he/ she did gnaws at the back of your conscience.


Everyone goes through such phases; it is the burden that we have to carry around because of our fragile hearts. The punishment of daring to love another human being, trusting them with your very own life; someday they are bound to hurt you.


But despite the challenges of relationships, one cannot fail to see the amicable benefits that a person derives from enjoying the companionship of another human being. The feeling that you get from loving and being loved is irreplaceable. Knowing that someone has your back gives you some sort of confidence, because deep down you know that there is a soul that believes in you.


Somehow, you know that you can trust this person with your problems even If they may not be able to solve them.  Such is a healthy relationship, a symbiotic relation of some sort; give and take in equal measure.


But in as much as you may be in love, there comes a point where the embers that sustained the fire burn out. No matter how hard you try to blow some air into it, the passion that existed cannot be reignited. Suddenly, everything the other person does becomes super annoying; you can no longer stand the very things that attracted you to them.


The guilt that perhaps you are the one responsible for the downfall cripples your ability to amend things. You are bitter at both the other person and yourself for not being able to make it out.


Don’t be too harsh on yourself, it is part of life. Like the changing seasons, nothing can ever be permanent. However beautiful the summer is, when the winter approaches you have to let go of the sun dresses and embrace the bulky sweaters and mittens.


It may or may not be your fault that what you had ended, but that should not cripple you from moving on with your life. Another person will come along, other memories will be created…maybe even better. Holding on to lost passion is more like keeping your dead phone because you don’t want to throw it away. It won’t ever help you; all you will be doing is accumulating clutter.

Let go…Free your heart from captivity, there is no point in punishing yourself.

If things were not meant to work out, then they wouldn’t work, even in a thousand years. The love that you gave and was never returned should not make you fail to love again. Similarly, it is never your fault if you simply cannot love someone back as much as they do, no matter how hard you try. If it isn’t working out, maybe you are doing it with the wrong person.


Never hate all roses because you got pricked by one thorn, dress the wound, put on some gardening gloves and keep at it until you find that perfect rose that would suit your vase…


By Leah Kanda @Canduh_



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