Ladies, picture this, there you are seated with this really attractive guy that you met through your friend. As the night goes on, it’s filled with laughs amidst the clanging of cutlery and wine glasses. Just when you think that the night couldn’t get any better, he orders you some chocolate cake and even goes ahead to feed you the first bite. You slowly savor the taste of the strawberries and chocolate as you thank the Heavens for allowing you to bump into Prince Charming. You begin to imagine a life with Prince Charming.
However, these thoughts are brought to a screeching halt when he blatantly asks you, “How many guys have you slept with?” In the flash of a second, the mood changes as you clear your throat and sit up straight as you try and concoct a suitable answer.
Of course you don’t want to seem loose and yet at the same time you don’t want to lie in your response, so how do you approach this question?
1. Remind him that you both have a past
When most guys ask about your body count or previous sexual partners, it usually comes from a place of putting themselves on pedstle. However as a lady, when you think about these insecurities that would drive them to ask you about your sexual history, you realize that he had so many more sexual partners. It is therefore advisable to politely remind him that both you and he have a sexual history and what is most important is to live in the present as opposed to living in the past.
2. Calmly explain that “it is personal and you feel uncomfortable sharing”
Now, ladies, it is better to steer clear of disclosing the number of sexual partners you have had in the past. It goes without saying that, give a gentleman to earn access into your life and thus as a woman it gives an impression of you being guarded and full of self-respect. Plainly phrased, you don’t have to share all your dirty little secrets to your date on the first few interactions because chances are if you talk too much you seem too accessible and open. A little mystery is an attractive trait.
3. Highlight the dangers of double standards
Another valuable trick is asking him how many women he has slept with, and play some reverse psychology. If he is smart and grown, he will not press you further in the future for your history of sexual partners. However, if he is not too smart and a boy at that, he might actually begin counting them! If he does this run, because it is the first clue of his immaturity.
4. Remind him it is inconsequential
By doing this, you set a precedent for a relationship based on non-judgment and also give the impression that you are not the “nosy girl” who dug up his past. Let’s be frank, we all want that partner who would not judge us even if we kissed all the frogs just to meet them. After all, it does make you look like the bigger person, doesn’t it?
5. Sex is not the key factor to a successful relationship
The moment you remind him that a successful relationship is composed of other factors such as good communication, respect, trust and loyalty as opposed to sex, it will definitely throw him off guard because, in our generation, sex is overly glorified. Sex is just one of the many factors that make a relationship, and should not be driving factor for dating.
