5 signs you are in a toxic relationship
- ‘Mechanic’ syndrome
The relationship soon changes from courtship that is fun and enjoyable to one that is about playing a Mr/Miss fix it role. This is the attempt to model the partner into your ideal mate. If you find yourself in a restoration/transformation relationship, its time you think twice about it. The need to make one’s partner fit into a particular mold is part of the reason why relationships do not last long, because one cannot be changed into someone they are not. Beware if your partner is trying to changing you to be someone different. If you can’t stand someone’s flaws, you probably shouldn’t be in the relationship in the first place.
- Power play
Some personalities seek power over others. This becomes even more dangerous when they exercise their power by manipulating the significant other. The need to be in control and call all the shots is a tell tale sign that the relationship is doomed to fail. Submission is a word the modern woman would rather not hear but the truth is, in every relationship/institution, there must be a leader. Two headstrong individuals find themselves fighting over insignificant issues because the relationship has become a power struggle.
- Constant arguing
The arguments that ensue between a couple are part of a relationship but if you do find that most of the time spent together is mostly made up of arguments rather than simply enjoying time together then probably the relationship is not worth it. It might be time to reconsider if the relationship is worth the drama especially if you are student, this may just be a destructor. You are not in debate club so cut your losses and find someone you enjoy spending time with and can laugh with most of the time.
- Leaves you drained
One clear indicator that you are in a bad relationship is that every moment you spend with your significant other, you feel drained. A relationship should add value to your life bringing you joy and happiness, at least more often than not. If it does the contrary, sucking you dry like a leech then clearly the relationship is of no benefit to you.
- Flat-lined personal growth
A relationship should allow the two individuals to complement each other, bringing out the best in each other. So a relationship should actually improve the wellbeing of both individuals, spiritually, intellectually and emotionally. However, a relationship should not serve a crutch. It should be a give and take. That being said, one should grow and mature as a person because of the stability and support the relationship provides, therefore if a relationship stifles growth instead of encouraging it, then clearly there is a problem.
If three of the five points apply to your relationship, you need to reevaluate your relationship status.