Dating in your 20s can be fun, the best thing ever- or the worst. This is the decade where you’re still figuring yourself out- what you want or don’t want and what truly matters in a relationship and honestly just like you the guys you date are on their own journey, navigating careers and personal lives.
Navigating the dating scene can be an adventure. You may find the ‘right one’ right away, get married, and live happily ever after (lucky you), or, like so many of us, you will have to endure the following charmers before you actually meet the ‘right man’.
Whether you meet them by swiping right on tinder, Social media, a Sherehe or through a friend you’ll definitely go on a date with some of these types of men in your 20s. You’ve probably dated one of them, right?
The ‘Great on paper’ guy
He’s the type of guy your mum has been praying you’d eventually date and marry and your friends love him. Some might call him a workaholic, but he’s just ambitious and hardworking. He often comes with a stable career, a good education and a polished demeanor. The benefits are pretty clear- he provides security, inspires ambition and shares long term vision. You probably found him online or you’re set up by a friend and he pleasantly remarks that ‘you’re too mature for your age’. However, the downside is that this type of man will always prioritize career over emotional connection. When you need him he’s nowhere to be found, he doesn’t avoid you but there many things he has to do in a day leading to feelings of neglect and emotional unavailability. Additionally his well structured life may leave little room for deeper intimacy making the relationship feel like a checklist than a partnership.
The Ex
He’s the guy you go back to because there’s comfort in knowing someone already knows your personality, history even though you know you shouldn’t. Maybe you dated this guy when you were younger. Broke up, got together. Three years go by, you see him again. Get back together, break up. He’s your ex for a reason but you can’t help but remember the good times and have always been in that weird ‘we’re together but not together’ grey zone. This union is already going nowhere and includes the risk of repeating old unresolved issues. Just leave it. He’s not the one.
The Older Guy
You’re 21; he’s 50. You met him on Tinder or through a friend of a friend. He’s experienced and knows what a girl wants. Older men often come with a level of maturity and financial security that the guys your age may not yet have. He’s from a different generation so his ideas his thoughts, the way he talks are all new and exciting for you. He’s dependable and calls when he says he will and you don’t mind your family and friends being against your relationship with a guy with a little grey on the rooftop. He seems like a real adult until time passes and the novelty
wears off and you realize that he’s really not, most likely cheating on his wife and is very similar to every guy you’ve ever dated.
The Best Friend
He’s good looking and successful and you talk about anything together. He makes you laugh. He holds your hand when your Ex is engaged. You love his family and gossip about people you both know. He loves you and is doing everything it takes to make you happy so you start to question whether there could be more to it and you decide to give it a shot and one day you guys hook up and it’s not that great or it’s good but weird and you kinda wished you had remained friends. They aren’t bad people. Just…a nice person you’re friends with.
The Player
This guy is most likely super attractive and you knew about his reputation when you first started seeing him but you tried dating anyway because he brings excitement into a relationship, offering a dynamic and adventurous experience. His phone constantly beeps which he deliberately ignores before switching it off. He’s the guy who has like 10 women on speed dial and calls you ‘Babe’ in order to not get your names mixed up and has blocked you from his social media profile. You find him canoodling or sex-texting a random woman and he swears he’ll never do it again; makes up a sob story and things go back to normal and then he does it again. Day by day you realize that probably all he has is great looks and that’s not enough to form a fulfilling relationship.
The one that got away
He’s kind, thoughtful, smart, and funny and just the right amount of sexy. Everything about him and the relationship is good and you can’t remember where or why things went wrong. It wasn’t him who ended the relationship and it wasn’t you who ended. The spark was there, you had something good going but with him moving abroad you both became increasingly busy and the conversation became less consistent. Then one day you realize that you haven’t spoken in two months. There are no hard feelings and you still think about him from time to time and have visualized many ‘What ifs’ scenarios.
The Bro
He’s relaxed, free-spirited, still sends their laundry to their mum’s, work consists of ‘ka-contract with their friend’ and you don’t know how they manage to pay their rent. He’s always wasted or does too many drugs. You met this guy at a party and ran into him at two other parties. He will inspire you to create and enjoy the beauty in everything, embrace the unkown and live everyday like it’s your last. You will fall beneath his priorities as he hangs out with the boys and leave it to him to consistently avoid putting a label to your relationship. You might have a lot fun with this guy if you’re not looking for something serious.
Dating in your twenties is a unique and thrilling experience and in so many ways the guy you date reflects on where you are in your own journey. Perhaps in the beginning of your own twenties you’re drawn to the fun spontaneous guy but as the years go by, your priorities shift- what you were once attracted to may not hold the same appeal.
