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An open letter to my irresponsible and absentee father

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single mum

When I went home for December holidays I noticed my sister would be uneasy whenever step-dad was around the house. After insistently prodding, she revealed to me that she had witnessed our step-dad cheating on mom on several occasions but never said a word because she wanted her to be happy. What totally pissed me off was his misconception that sister never told mom because she was sexually attracted to him. The pig had even tried to sexually molest my blood sister! I’m so full of rage, he has been away for 3 months now but when he comes back I will deal with him appropriately.

Your daughter has suffered most growing without you. It pains her that you don’t even know her favorite color or meal. You denied her the chance of being ‘daddy’s little girl’ like her friends. You ought to have been the first man to love her unconditionally and tell her how beautiful she is every day. You were never around when she needed you to read bed time stories or stick by her side when she differed with mom. She wishes you were there to protect her from the sex-pest she has for a step-dad, chase away the boys after her and claim none of them was good enough for your amazing daughter.

Your absence greatly affected her self-esteem. She doesn’t trust men. I’ve heard her claim she won’t get married, maybe it’s because she is worried you won’t be there to walk her down the aisle. I’m worried she might get into destructive relationships and date older men (a father figure) in order to fill the gap you left in her life. Anyway mother is doing a great job nurturing her to become a strong, confident and successful young woman.

Now that we are both about to graduate from college and our career prospects are looking good you are trying to maneuver back into our lives. Last week, you asked me whether I will take care of you when you get old?  When I asked why I should when you deserted me more than a decade ago you claimed to have taken good care of me till I got to class 6! After class 6 was I suppose to feed on wild fruits and live in the forest like Tarzan?  Growing without you toughened me and I have become my own man so I don’t need you anymore.

Father, the main purpose for writing this letter is to inform you that I have enlisted the help of a lawyer to officially drop my surname and instead adopt my mother’s maiden name. The truth is I no longer hate you, I have accepted my fate all I can do is to take care of my mother and sister and work towards becoming a great husband and dad to my future wife and kids.

Yours faithfully,

Rashid

My sincere gratitude goes out to Rashid for his courage evident in sharing his heart wrenching life story in the form of a letter so I would publish it for the world to read. He hopes that all absentee fathers would read it, realize the kind of pain they are subjecting their children to and transform to being responsible dads.

Please share this letter as widely as possible!

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