Call us old fashioned and unloving. In fact, feel free to even throw in the ‘aki woiyee this unromantic African men’. Then add the NKTs, LMAO, LOL next to it. But the reality is this – most men just don’t give a crap about Valentine’s Day, and this is why.
For the record, we have no beef with the history of Valentine’s Day, which Google proudly tells me is shrouded in mystery, but has origins in the Roman holiday Lupercalia, sijui mixed with what traditions blah blah… And sure enough, we have no bone of contention with that 5th century Christian martyr named after Valentine’s Day (though Google tells me there were like five of them). Anyway, history and origins aside, this is why most men don’t give a crap about Valentine’s Day:
1. Valentine’s Day is a lifestyle and not an event. Real brothers, you know the ones who got their shit together and are lovingly committed to their Missus – don’t give a crap about Valentine’s Day because to them Valentines is a lifestyle and not an event. For these brothers, it doesn’t take a switch of a calendar date for them to suddenly turn crazy romantic running across town with a bunch of flowers. For them the spirit of Valentine’s Day is embedded in them… practiced all day… every day. They will surprise their woman with a special candlelit dinner date on a random day. They will send flowers to her office when she least expects. They will shower her with gifts and lovely romantic messages out of the blues. So, sisters, you want the real deal? Stop stressing your man to shower you with love and be all romantic for you just for a day. Did you notice that a year has other 364 days? And for brothers, how about you become her Valentines every day, and not just for a single day?
2. You ask and expect the wrong things on Valentine’s Day. If I was a woman, this is what I would ask of my man. Before he goes all crazy (incurring debts) to impress me with flowers, a borrowed ride and an expensive dinner date. First, I would need to know whether our relationship is headed to the altar or to the bedroom? And if it’s headed to the altar, what are the timelines? And for the love of the holy one, sisters please don’t buy the let’s just see where it goes. If he ever tells you that, hear it from me – it simply means, the brother is only buying time as he explores his options. If he’s truly into you, trust me, he would want to put a ring on it.
Secondly, I would also want to know, monitor, evaluate, analyse and discuss his commitment, faithfulness and love for me? I would need to know if I’m just one among the many others across town he impresses with a noisy pimped up ride, a well-cut Nairobi stalls’ suit and an expensive attitude. Ladies, if you are not sure about where you stand with your man, in terms of your future together – then for love of your future generation, Valentine’s Day shenanigans of flowers and gifts should be the last thing on your mind. Unless, of course, you simply enjoy being blinded with a bunch of withering flowers, a packet of imported chocolate and a bottle of tasteless red wine accompanied with his condoms or your Morning After pills.
3. If Valentine’s Day is about love, then it should be two-way. So, raunchy FM stations, TV adverts and Facebook updates have successfully managed to make Valentine’s Day all a woman’s affair. It’s the woman who is showered with gifts and romantic surprises. It is the women who’s taken out for dinner and is told a million times in a day how she’s an angel, a goddess, and a twin sister to Princess Diana and Monica Lewinsky combined. Well, for most men, we are left to wonder – if Valentine’s Day is about love, and since it takes two to tango in love – then how comes most of us aren’t also showered with romantic gifts and told good nothings? And you wonder why most men don’t give a crap about Valentine’s Day.
