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Why I hate Night Club bouncers

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Nightclub-bouncer

“Triple margaritas will have you water logged before you’ll ever get to catch the thrill you are after,” a sweet sexy voice whispered into my ear.

The strong sweet fruit scented perfume made me turn my head to look. A real beauty stood there behind me with a mischievous smile written all over her face. I took a few seconds to sweep through her with my weak eyesight. I noticed the long ivy vine tattoo that slithered up one side of her arm and over her shoulder, ending along her neck that seemed to give her an intensive kind of sex appeal.

“What gives you the impression that I’m seeking to catch a thrill?” I asked

“Listen cute boy, no offense, you look pretty stressed, a triple margarita will help you elude quick but I can drive you through the jungle a little faster. Trust me.”

One of the rules of the game state that just like a trained navy seal, once you get the signal you move in and acquire the target there’s no time wasting.  I offered her a drink which she gladly accepted. She sat next to me and I asked her how many shots of margaritas she would take.

“Mmmmm…how about 6 shots with Margaret instead?” she purred in a seductive deep honeyed voice.

At first I didn’t understand her metaphor so I asked who or what Margaret was.

“I am Margaret. You can manage six shots with me at my place, right?”

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I now understood exactly what she meant. Excitement kicked inside me like a puppy.  She was a real beauty. Her skirt slowly moved back as she sat on the stool next to me. I couldn’t help staring shamelessly at her thighs. Her body was petite and firm. We had a nice conversation as I tried to finish my drink. The desire burning in her eyes was obvious for anyone to see. The way her legs moved showed she ached for something. Everything else could wait. I left my drink and followed her.

She held my hand and led me through a corridor. She claimed there was a guy disturbing her so it would be nice if we left through the back door without him noticing. I didn’t care alerting my friends of my ‘sudden’ departure. I watched her behind as she walked in front of me. I couldn’t wait to reach wherever we were headed to. She suddenly stopped in a dark area on the corridor, looked sideways to see if anyone was watching then she started running her hands over my chest, appearing to enjoy the way each muscle twitched under her fingers. I felt my body give in to the insanity of the situation. I forced a bit of self-control and convinced her to wait until we reached a room. She agreed, so we walked on.

Out of nowhere, a sharp pain on one side of my head sent me hitting the wall with the other side of my head before I went reeling on the floor. I didn’t know what had hit me until I saw a huge pissed off guy wearing a tight small t-shirt standing next to me. Margaret started screaming and pleaded with the huge guy to leave me alone but he wouldn’t listen.  He pushed her away, angering me in the process. What kind of guy pushes a woman? I asked myself.

I stood up to confront him despite my relatively miniature size. I read the Bible a lot so I believed a David and Goliath scenario wasn’t out of the books. With faith, everything is possible. However, that wasn’t to be the case. Before I even knew it, his huge hand grabbed me by the scuff of my neck, dragged me out of the club then shoved me to the road.  I hurt my arm badly and that’s how my spectacles got broken. The bouncer closed the door with a bang as I hurled insults at him. Luckily there weren’t many people to witness. It would have been embarrassing. I called my friends and we left.

I had never felt so angry before. I was now done with bouncers. I couldn’t understand my mistake but maybe the Incredible Sulk had been eyeing the girl too. Maybe she was his girlfriend. How now? This bouncer guy was so huge and the chic was short and petite. How were they even compatible?

After that Friday, I had decided to at least concentrate on Laura and make her mine. Unfortunately she didn’t want anything to do with me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Flash forward to the current Friday. I handed in my answer sheet feeling so low. I decided to visit my optician in town and get new spectacles. I sat on the couch at the reception waiting for my turn. I was so busy with my phone that I didn’t even notice someone approaching me.  I only looked up when I heard the sound of stilettos tapping their way towards me, plus a bodily scent that seemed so familiar. I looked up and saw Margaret: the girl from the club. I couldn’t believe it. Coincidentally, she had also come to get new spectacles. We had a nice conversation and flirted intensely. She apologized and told me she had broken up with the bouncer. I smiled, certain that, ‘’shumaitararandani,”

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