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The problem with the overly attached, insecure woman

couple fighting

Ladies, if you have ever dated a guy, and everything appeared perfect at the beginning then slowly we downhill after that. He lost interest in the relationship, stopped making time for you, and seems to prioritise other things. Well, sweetheart, fasten your seatbelt coz you and I need to have a chat.

Most men enjoy being in a relationship with the woman they love, until she turns into an insecure, overprotective and overly attached detective. Questioning his every move. Analysing every word he says. Tracking his whereabouts. Bombarding him every second with the ukowapi? Unafanya nini? and the ukonanani? Federal-bureau-of-investigations-like ‘conversations’.

I know the easy justification of such behaviour is always that men by nature are cheaters, and hence a woman needs to put a leash on them. However, I will ask: If sincerely you can’t trust your man, then I don’t see any reason why you are with him in the first place.

Relationships are built on trust, tolerance, maturity and understanding. If either of these key essential ingredients is missing, you are better off being single.

There’s a certain kind of confidence, inner peace and contentment that a man gains when he knows his woman trusts him. Nothing kills a man’s confidence and commitment in a relationship than a woman who always treats her man like he’s a murder-suspect.

Nothing turns off a man like an overly attached woman. If your man tells you he’s meeting up with the boys to watch football, the least you can do is simply trust him. You don’t have to tag along, unless of course you are graciously invited. Furthermore, you don’t have to become the new sheriff in town – tracking his moves, sniffing for evidence on his phone, analysing his body language and so on. Has it ever occurred to you that probably being overly attached, insecure and overprotective has in a way already pushed him away from you?

No man needs unnecessary drama in a relationship. I mean, for what it is worth we already have enough drama with our favourite football teams being thrashed week after week in the English Premier League. No man enjoys dating an overly attached woman and a stalker. Give your man some space, and watch him blossom.

Yes, it’s true you are in a relationship – but it doesn’t mean that he has to constantly report to you like he’s a 3-year-old who needs to be reminded to wipe his nose. You don’t have to constantly nag him about anything and everything. Don’t act God – expecting a man to always kneel before you, worship you as he constantly confesses his sins to you.


Understand that men aren’t wired to speak 27,000 words in a minute. Take the time to understand your man – his moods, his likes, his dislikes.

If he isn’t in the mood of talking or listening to your Season 6, Episode 17 of a cousin to your girlfriend’s best friend’s friend – don’t degenerate into teenage tantrums.

And no, it doesn’t mean that he’s cheating on you. It simply means that today he isn’t just not in the mood of listening to you talk for two hours about stuff and people he sincerely doesn’t give a hoot about.

So, sweetheart, relax. Take it easy. Breathi-i-i-n-n-n, breath o-o-u-t-t. Relationships were meant to be fun, not a long series of endurance and tolerance. Don’t drag your insecurities and experiences from your past relationships into your current. If the first nigga cheated on you – get over it and move on – for it doesn’t mean all men are dogs.

And if you genuinely believe that all men are dogs, then for the peace of the world and the sanity of the future generation, please I beg you oooh my sisto! stop screwing around with ‘dogs’.

In fact, how about you just check into a Convent and dedicate your earthly life in the service and glory of the God. For crying out loud, I am sure the world is so tired with yet another episode of a poor soul constantly bashing ‘all’ men for the sins of a few crazy brothers

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