The categories of beer drinkers in campus - The Sauce
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The categories of beer drinkers in campus


Drinking is one of the most valued forms of leisure in universities. Many comrades always look forward to when they will have the next bottle. Lecturers are never guaranteed a hundred percent concentration from students on Fridays since most students are always figuring out where the drinks will come from. However, for some it’s not just a Friday affair. Any day is a booze day. But what really influences the drinking behaviors of students?  There are several types of beer drinkers in campus


Status drinkers

The top of category has students who drink because they have money at the moment. Loans from HELB help a lot. When one has money, they drink as much as they want. They also do their best to appear rich and gain respect. They generously buy rounds for their friends and strangers. Bars around campuses are always full of students during the first weeks of the semester. When the money runs out the taps also close. In economics, these students own the equation D=∫Ms, meaning drinking is a function of seasonal money.  D stands for drinking and Ms Stands for seasonal money. This money includes HELB, pocket money and borrowed money.


Stress Drinkers

In another category there are students who drink because of stress. Campus life can be stressful at times. Sources of stress range from academics to relationships  The level of stress on a drinker can be determined by how often wrinkles appear on their face. There are only two kinds of people who get wrinkles while drinking; beginners and people who are stressed. If a guy isn’t getting drunk by the third bottle but he’s still getting wrinkles thereafter, he’s a stressed man. Maybe he scored  5 out of 30 in a test or he’s gone for a while without getting some TLC.


Occupational drinkers

There are also those who drink as a profession; a part time job. While others are fruitlessly working at GNLD, these students prefer drinking. They believe that the bar will hand them good connections, reliable friends and total satisfaction. For them, there is no official drinking day.  Professional drinkers always drink with specific goals in mind and never get drunk easily. They use their sober gift to solicit more drinks or favors from their drunken friends


Strategic drinkers

Other types of drinkers are those who drink with agendas in mind. Most of the time the aim is to get a one night stands. On other selfish occasions, guys aim to get the ladies drunk and vulnerable. A lady who would have rejected any advances to bed her when sober ends up giving in when drunk.  These ones are a disgrace to the drinking fraternity.


Unstable drinkers

Finally, there are those who drink because they have nothing better to do. But it’s not that they have nothing better to do; it’s just that their minds are inclined to think so.  Their biggest misdemeanor is misplaced priorities. When it’s time to have fun, they choose drinking over anything else. Drunkards and social wrecks usually fall in this category. It usually takes prayers, counseling, good advice or heavy criticism to save such comrades


Warning: Excessive consumption of alcohol is dangerous to your health.


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