Today’s seX-Files is a Q&A:
‘Dear Abi,
My girlfriend won’t go all the way, even if we’re doing everything else. Isn’t that
the same thing? I’m sexually frustrated.
A, UON.’
Abi says:
Are you in it for the sex or for the girl? If she is ‘The One, don’t let that get in the way (yes. It is important in a relationship, but you need to look within yourself and see if you can do without it). If she isn’t, then spare yourself both sometime and throw up the deuces.
Suzanne the Psychologist says:
I understand your sexual frustration and where it comes from but a little more information about your girlfriend and your relationship would have been good.
How old is she? Is she still a virgin? How long have you been together?
This is important in order to understand her state of mind. It could be that she feels she is not ready to give up THAT part of herself. Contrary to what you may think, other forms of fooling around do not have the same meaning to some girls as actual intercourse. It involves so much emotion; this is before the act, during and after!! Think of sex as a rite of passage into adulthood or a more complex stage of life and then maybe you will be more empathetic to your girlfriend and her hesitation to let you “take the plunge”.
I encourage you to talk to her and listen to what she has to say. She must have her reasons. She might have trouble trusting you enough or might have confidence issues. You should also take this opportunity to explain to her your dissatisfaction. To have an honest and effective conversation, avoid blame and judgment.
