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How To Clean Up Your Mess After Sex

Sex is fun but it is an inherently messy process, there’s no denying that.

The memory might stay hot and heavy in your mind but there is nothing more annoying than a giant semen stain at the center of your mattress or period blood spattered over your sheets. Well it may sound awkward, but it’s true. So it’s important to get rid of those stains. How do you wash sex stains? What products do you use?

Let’s talk about the four common stains that occur during sex, and how to clean them up.

1. Sexual Fluids

First thing to know about cleaning stains from sex is, knowing the true makeup of what’s sitting in your sheets. Male and female sexual fluids contain protein. Your method of attack when it comes to vaginal secretions and semen is going to depend on how old of a stain it is. As with all stains the faster you treat the stain, the better the outcome. Warm water is really effective when cleaning stains. If you soak the sheets in the hottest water you can, provided they’re cotton or a cotton-poly blend, then it will be much easier to get rid of the stains. Silk and satin sheets require some additional TLC, treat the satin very carefully and don’t rub the fabric too hard when spot treating. Rinse the sheets in cool water to remove the stains and then hand-wash them in warm water with detergent. If the stains are old or crusted, and on any other fabric other than silk or wool, it will generally require a little extra treatment beyond standard detergent.

2. Blood

Sometimes sex comes along with a little spotting- especially in cases where not enough foreplay took place or perhaps you really enjoy period sex. While period sex is normal and healthy, it can do a number on your sheets and towels, creating a nightmare of stains that should be addressed as soon as possible and then add a stain remover, such as home-dry cleaner or hydrogen peroxide. Hydrogen peroxide is very effective against stains. Just apply to the stained areas wait for the solution to bubble, then use a soft brush to remove the particles from the fabric, rinse with cold water and finally wash the item in warm water using detergent. If your sex gets too exciting, you might find blood in other places too. If you happen to get blood on your walls or floors, the home-dry cleaner can make quick work on even the most significant stains on virtually any surface.

3. Poop

No one likes to talk about poop, but in reality that must be faced head on if you’re engaging in anal play. Here’s the good news: poop stain is one of the easier stains to get out. Fecal matter doesn’t stain as easily as semen and blood. First things first, you need to rinse away excess solids with cool water. Then wash the fabrics with hot water and bleach to remove stains and destroy bacteria. After your done air-dry.

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4. Lube Stains

Lubes are a great way to improve sex life. They help reduce discomfort, ease penetration process and ultimately help you achieve better orgasms. Lube comes in two primary forms: water base and silicon base. Which one you prefer to use is a personal choice based on your preferences. It’s hard to use lube without getting it on your sheets or your clothing leaving an unwanted mess. You’ll want to tailor the cleanup to the ingredients in the lube. Water based lube are far less likely to leave a permanent stain, your normal laundry detergent and cold water should be effective. For silicon- based lubricants while effective in its intended purpose, it’s significantly harder to clean. Since the silicon is water repellant you’ll need to pre-treat the stain on dry fabric. Similar to cleaning bodily fluid stains, try blotting the soiled area with liquid laundry detergent/ dish soap or home dry cleaner. Wait 10 minutes, then wash in warm water and add any other additives you need for the fabric.

Whatever your sex mess might be there is a way around it. By following the proper procedures to address lube and bodily fluids stains you can continue living your best, sex and stain- free life.

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