Campus Supremacy: KU vs UON? - The Sauce
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Campus Supremacy: KU vs UON?

uon-vs-ku

For a long time, University of Nairobi was considered THE university in Kenya. But with the opening up of the higher education sector and introduction of competitive management, UoN has faced a lot of competition. It moved from the only university, to the preferred choice and now to one of the many. Kenyatta University has been catching up with the University of Nairobi in more ways than one including offering courses that were hitherto offered exclusively at UoN. But is KU anywhere near UoN? Or is it at par?

KU somehow looks like a lively Miami whereas UoN looks like a vintage cum elegant London or Moscow. But what really, sets the two campos apart? What really creates a gulf in class? Forget academics and the serious stuff; let’s analyze this by factors that make campus life fun.

 

Ladies

KU ladies are hot and they come in numbers. They know how to dress decently and still remain attractive. They don’t show too much flesh, just show enough to make you desire the rest. Most of them exhibit natural beauty. KU ladies love their men. It’s rare to find a KU lady dating a guy from another campus. KU ladies can handle hardships too. They are used to walking miles on the alleys of the university under the hot sun. They also don’t mind eating at the ‘sufferer’ hotels on the backyard of main campus. KU ladies are ‘wife material’.

UoN ladies are also hot but they overdo class. They are too expensive and put give their boyfriends hard times. If you fail to perform, they simply move on to the next.  Most of them never date UoN guys. The location of the university gives the ladies very many options ranging from guys from the many colleges in the CBD to men in suits. UoN ladies have more ‘uncles’ than KU ladies. They are used to eating chips and other fast foods when times are hard but not cheap food. But most importantly, they don’t entertain hardships.

UoN

Party and alcohol Power

KU comrades are the undisputed champions of beer. Beer stocks at the Students Annex are usually refilled like fuel in a Mustang. KU events and gigs are countless every semester and they never disappoint. Big artistes love KU. The major problem is that the brothers from Juja Boys aka JKUAT like invading KU gigs. They always make sure to bring all their #TeamMafisi hunger with them. House parties are always frequent in the surrounding Kahawa neighborhoods. The only major flaw is a lack of decent clubs nearby

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UoN comrades have access to the hottest clubs. Raving is always a guarantee every Friday whether pockets have money or not. A UoN dude is the type of dude that can convince a lady to buy him a drink and the lady won’t feel bad about it. A UoN guy can convince a hot model or working class lady to spend a night with him in the wooden prefabs of main campus. These comrades are also the kings of club hopping and chips funga. A UoN guy can visit over ten clubs In one night. Gigs at UoN are frequent too but slightly below the number that KU manages.

 KU

Cost and conditions of living

In KU, life is affordable. KM market behind the campus offers a variety of cheap foods and other student services such as photocopying and Muratina (local brew). KU hostels are well maintained with the exception of a few. Accommodation is quiet expensive though. Rents are high in surrounding neighborhoods. Five people sharing a bedsitter isn’t always a surprise. Guys who have hostel rooms but don’t desire to live in them always sell them for as much as 10k. Other commodities are usually easily accessible and cheap. There are many salesmen and brokers. OLX is irrelevant in KU. In fact the OLX proxy should be barred from loading inside KU grounds

UoN life is quite expensive. The good side of this scenario is that UON guys get more street smart. It’s true that the more the expenses, the more the money you make. Parents get all kinds of lies every week from their sons and daughters for money. Some even lie to their parents that the lecturers have ordered them to buy Wikipedia as soon as possible. Accommodation outside the campus is expensive and hard to get.  Hostels aren’t pretty either. It’s only at the door of a UON hostel room that you will find the following statement:

Usi ingie tafadhali, dame yako ako na shughuli muhimu hapa ndani!.”

(Don’t get in, your girlfriend has important matters to attend to)

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