5 things I would do different if I went back to campus - The Sauce
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5 things I would do different if I went back to campus

Campus dating

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I miss campus life and my crazy clique of ‘comrades’. However, what I don’t miss are the unwinding lectures of Prof. MK who spoke as if he had the monopoly on knowledge. I never liked him a bit. Especially after he failed me in second year exam, because he couldn’t read my handwriting. I’ve never forgiven him, and to date I still hope that the lighting that’s to strike him is still doing pressure ups. I later found out he had a thing for my campus old flame, the lovely Cindy Wanjiru, and I was simply an obstacle.

Speaking of Cindy, now that’s one damsel I would miss to the grave. Almost a decade later, the thought of Cindy still squeezes a naughty smile from my loins. Cindy wasn’t exceptionally beautiful, if that is what you expect. And since in those days buying a weave was equivalent to paying for a Vitz from a showroom, expectedly, her hair was dismal and her clothes basic. However, for what is worth, Cindy had a wicked and freakish aura about her that seemed highly undiscovered and unbuttered (read I suspected she was a virgin).

I remember the first time I bumped into her at the library. She was trying to reach for a book three feet above her head, when she caught me googling her ass. She slapped me with a disgusted look wives reserve for cheating husbands. Gently, I reached for the book on her behalf. She then slapped me with a blow job smile, and that’s when I whispered in her ear something to the effect of – she was so beautiful if I was the Vice Chancellor I would use all the HELB money to buy for her a virgin island in the Bahamas.

Thanks to Cindy, partly my campus days were memorable. However, if I was to get back to campus, the following are five things I would do differently:

1. I would party hard but study even harder 

I would be more focused and committed to my studies. I would invest a little more time cracking them books and planning for my career and future, as I would hit the dance floor, and popping them gin and juice. Over and above, I would have my priorities right. Having fun will certainly feature in my to-do-list. I would bubble-a-gal, party like a rockstar and definitely make-it-rain. Nonetheless, of ultimate priority will be chewing books, and graduating with nothing less than a first-class honours.

2. I would choose my friends wisely 

I wouldn’t waste time with people who don’t add value to my life. I wouldn’t tag along with people who we are going in opposite directions. I will surround myself with friends who are focused and they know where they are going in terms of their education, career and life. I would invest my time and energy in friends who are committed to make their lives better. Friends who are focused and principled. I would establish and maintain, in and out of campus, a dynamic web of networks, friends and people who will support my career and life. I would hang around eagles, not chickens, because eagles fly, chickens don’t.

3. I would save and investment the little coins I get my hands on

If there’s something I regret learning and starting to do much later in life is savings and investment. If I was back in campus, I would have a financial management plan to save, invest and begin to create wealth. Besides daydreaming about landing a lucrative managerial position in a blue chip company, I would also plan to start my own company or business after I graduate. I would invest in the stock market, on the farm back in the village and in some side hustle business. I would get a mentor, hang around chaps who have succeeded in life with the intentions of learning from the best. Finally, I would scramble for any information and courses that teach about savings, investment and wealth creation.

4. I would chase internship opportunities as if my life depends on it

I would chase every internship opportunity to build my CV and experience, and ultimately improve my chances of getting a nice job after I graduate. I wouldn’t wait to be shocked by prospective employers after I graduate about that experience monster missing on my CV. And for sure, I wouldn’t spend every three months of my semester holiday sleeping, watching movies and chasing after every little pretty thing squeezed in tight jeans. I would utilise the free time I get to build my career.

5. I would either take Cindy Wanjiru seriously, or simply leave her alone 

At the moment, Cindy owns a printing company in Nairobi that has 57 employees. As I was busy tarmacking after graduating, Cindy was busy building her empire together with her husband whom they met while in campus, after I dumped her because she wasn’t fun and outrageous enough. My point is this: if I was to get back in campus, I would either take the love bug thing seriously and build my life and future together with Cindy or I would simply leave her alone and concentrate in my studies. What I wouldn’t however do is get entangled in the drama and emotional baggage of chasing after every campus diva, while splashing around my few coins trying to impress every pretty thing.

For the chaps in campus, remember this: a wise man learns from other’s mistakes, while a fool learns from his own. The choices you make while in campus will certainly determine the course of your life. So, make it count. Class dismissed!

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