These days finding a man in Nairobi is not as easy one may think. The bar is set high with all the options available to Nairobi women. The Nigerians, Ethiopians, Somalis and even Congolese have different qualities and thus very different things to offer “mamanzi wa Nairobi.” Many men think Kenyan Women are hard to impress, have a skewed sense of entitlement and materialistic.
Well, although it may be true to a certain extent, Kenyan men are also a major contributor to the truth we live in. However, it is increasingly apparent that many women that live in the City in the Sun do keep a checklist of some sort. The list is a manifestation of the criteria used to measure compatibility rate of the suitor. It may vary depending on individual desires and preferences, but there are some common characteristics shared by all women.
1. Handsome
This is a major component that contributes to the level of attraction that sometimes can be the basis of a relationship. So it is vastly important. In High School it was all about that “tall, dark and handsome guy”. To be honest, things have not changed that much. Women are still the little girls inside, waiting for prince charming to show off to their friends or with cute babies in mind. It has got worse for Kenyan men since the advent of the internet and cable television. There is constant comparison with the likes of Boris Kodjoe, Trey Songz and of course Terrence J. Let’s not forget the silly notions about love we get from soap operas like Coundo Ses Mia and gorgeous William Levy. But despite this, Kenyan men still stand a chance just as long as they are well groomed and well above a 5 on the handsome scale.
2. A gentleman
Chivalry is not dead. The thugs and womanizers hardly get anywhere and women quickly learn their ways, developing the capability to identify them from a mile away. A gentleman is kind, polite as well as knowledgeable on the rules of etiquette. Knowing what to say and how to say it is an art that may as well be lost with Noah’s flood. Maintain a conversation but do not speak over her. Remember that a gentleman knows when to call a woman sexy and when to let her know she is beautiful. Be courteous and ensure that you pull a chair for her as she sits and leaves the table. It may seem petty but the small stuff makes a difference in the eyes of a woman.
3. Ambition and Confidence
These are aspects of a man that a woman cannot teach a man. A man’s demeanor is a signal to women how much they value themselves. Confidence is sexy; every man should always carry it in his arsenal before walking out the door to meet a woman. Be careful to distinguish between confidence and arrogance. Self drive is an essential indicator to women that there is a future with you. Mwanaume ni effort. In some cases, your confidence and ambition may even matter more than your financial situation. These characteristic automatically render you worthwhile.
4. Family oriented
Africans have a family oriented culture. Loving and showing that love to your immediate family members is important to a woman. It is a guide to your values and could be an indicator of what makes the man tick. From a woman’s perspective, being family oriented is always a good sign. A man’s family is where he is socialized into the ways of this world. Relationships, the value of money, ethics and other principles are cultivated within the family. It can also foreshadow the man’s behavior in their family after marriage.
5. Intelligence
In Africa, it is said that more and more women are getting an education in the quest of equality. According to statistics from University World News, there is an increase of 30% in the admission of female students in Kenyan universities. These women are intelligent, highly motivated and focused. If you do not match up to their standards, they are on to the next. Now, more than ever, intelligence is a major determining factor. Read widely and keep yourself updated on current affairs as they are sure talking points. Ensure you are not left behind.
Kenyan men can shed their bad boy persona and become gentlemen, if they decide to. The question is what will you choose?
