Why Miss Kalashnikov Succeeds where other girls fail



Now ladies, this is me taking time out of my lonely insomnia ridden night to throw a little gem of wisdom out there… Nights like tonight when the dark thoughts start to come to me, I think of something that makes me happy. A girl, a girl many men have thought about, many have died for, many have died by and even more have lived by, she has saved many lives and taken many more.She has carried many men to power and taken many from it.
She has been friend, mother, wife and daughter and lover all wrapped into one {yeah she a freak like that}. She’s not the prettiest of girls out there and neither is she the best at anything in particular but men in their droves are enchanted by her, in fact she is sixty five this year and still blowing minds, quite literary at that :)


This girl is the child of a man on what was supposed to be his death bed, Sgt. Mikhail Kalashnikov, meet his little baby girl, Miss. AuvtomatKalashnikova model of 1947 also known as the AK 47 or Kalashnikov.


Now before you stop reading this because I made it about a rifle, I submit to you, every guy likes rifles.Show me a guy who does not like guns and I’ll tell you to stop pointing at the queer, it’s not polite.We’re in days where we tolerate people regardless of their sexual orientation. You probably like rifles yourself.


Now a little history here, yes just made it a little more boring. The AK 47 was designed by Sergeant Mikhail Kalashnikov while he was injured and on sick leave. On his hospital bed he worked on designs for a rifle he entered into a competition to develop the Soviets’ new standard infantry rifle. Now the weapon was designed to be used in extreme conditions, mud, snow, rain and dust and she delivered.


So why does Miss. Auvtomat Kalashnikova beat every other girl? Why in moments of desperation when a man runs from his wife and his mother does he still run to his AK for comfort? {seriously ask Muamar Gaddafi…} A weapon so legendary, it has become the symbol of, revolution and oppression all at the same time, a symbol of freedom and rebellion, what does she know that the rest of the girls don’t? How can she be in Saddam Hussein’s palace and at the same time the thirteen year old child soldier in Sierra Leone still cradle her? Be in Yoweri Museveni’s presidential Limo and the common bank robber rely on her for life and success?

Disagree by all means disagree, don’t be mean, don’t be harsh don’t be complicated, be simple, be direct, be honest be beautiful

Compared to the other girls in her class, she was not the prom queen; she is a biker chic, a true ride or die girl.
The AK is a simple five kilo amalgamation of stamped steel and ply wood, just eight moving parts and no parts for aesthetics, elegant, useful and bloody rugged. Sgt. Kalashnikov said that he designed the AK so that every time you pulled the trigger it was followed by a bang, never a click (followed by a burst not a jam for you ladies who don’t speak guy). A master piece by any measure, a weapon so simple even a child could use it and they do, often. Mozambique put it on their flag, the Russians on a coin and I am thinking some artist should print shirts with it, it’s that symbol of freedom that will rival Che Guevara and dissidentcollege students should pay premium price to have it.

Connect with us

Latest Stories

Jose Chameleone serves up Afro Futurism on “Champion” Video

Jose Chameleone had promised his fans a treat ahead of releasing the video

#NewMusic: D’banj’s Street Anthem Issa Banga

Celebrated and legendary Nigerian Superstar D'banj has showcased his versatility

Jose Chameleone Enters The Ring With “Champion”

The true test of a champion is not whether he can triumph, but whether

AFRIMA award winner Gilad Millo releases ‘love’ video

Fresh off the Afrima awards where he won 2 awards, Israeli born musician,

Prince Harry predicted he’d marry a celeb

Prince Harry was keen to tie the knot with someone who has "already in


Foo Fighters announce major supports acts for 2018 tour

Wolf Alice, Frank Carter and The Rattlesnakes and Slaves are among the

Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington found dead

Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington has reportedly been found dead

Nothing But Thieves don’t want rock star image

Nothing But Thieves are keen to defeat the rock star image by carving

Kanye to be joined by Chris Martin, 2 Chainz at Glastonbury?

Kanye West will reportedly be joined by Chris Martin and 2 Chainz during

Florence + the Machine replace Foo Fighters at Glastonbury

Florence + the Machine have replaced Foo Fighters as Friday's (26.06.15)


Natalie Portman: Hollywood producer lured me onto private jet

Natalie Portman has recalled how what she believed to be an innocent invitation

John Boyega dubs Star Wars: The Last Jedi very messy

John Boyega has said 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' is "very messy" but explores

Kate Winslet auditioned for Titanic with Matthew McConaughey

Kate Winslet has revealed, although Leonardo DiCaprio bagged the role

Hugh Jackman won’t star as Wolverine in Deadpool movie

Hugh Jackman has ruled out starring as metal claw-bearing mutant Wolverine

Vin Diesel explains his love of social media

Hollywood star Vin Diesel believes social media has helped to change the