My phone conversation with my girlfriend’s mom




“Mum, I love him. I am a grown up

I can make my own decisions” she said

Talking over the phone

Her man was listening


“My mum wants to speak with you”

She said giving her man the phone

The man took the phone trying to look brave

“Why does she want to speak with me?” he asked her


“Hello” he said speaking over the phone

“Young man, do you like being disrespected?”

The mum asked authoritatively

“What are you trying to say?” he asked


The mum breathed trying to calm herself then continued

“I am sure you don’t like being disrespected

But why do you disrespect me?” the mum asked

“I haven’t disrespected you” the man said


The mother went silent then went on

“How foolish can you get? The woman you have there

The woman you are staying with in a come-we-stay situation

Is my precious daughter. You are both doing this so casually


I know you two are young and you claim to be adults

You can make your own choices and the world should leave you alone

But I cannot leave my daughter alone. I have raised her well

And I will not allow her to be part of something shoddy


You took my daughter, but have you cared to find out her family?

Do you know where she comes from? Who raised her?

This is the first time you have heard my voice

You’ve never even taken the time to meet me”


“I was planning to. We were planning to” the man said

The mum gave a sarcastic sound “When? I don’t want excuses

You have been living with her for months now. Are you a man?

You take a woman and don’t have the guts to do it right?”


“Don’t insult me” the man retaliated. The mum stopped him

“Don’t you dare raise your voice on me young man

A real man who is serious will want to make a woman his

In an honorable and respectful way. He doesn’t love a woman in secret


I have seen the likes of you. When a man takes a woman casually

He will start treating her casually. You will do things not pleasing

And hide behind the notion that you are not married to her

Why live with her like a wife, yet she is not your wife?”


The man watched his tone “We’re trying it out. To see if it’ll work”

The mum breathed again in disappointment

“People don’t try out marriage. People make marriage work

Decide, will you two be together or not? Are you planning on marrying her?”


“Yes. But I am just not ready for a wedding. I am saving up”

The mum was quick “Then remain dating and courting

If you are not ready stop having her like a fake wife

You try things out it doesn’t work out, then what, you dump her?


As long as you will have an exit route or a plan B and no accountability

This love you both claim to have will not work. It will be wasting time

You two have to fully commit to it and give your all. No holding back

A wedding is a show to yourselves, to God and to us that you’re serious


Who knows about you two staying together? Just a few friends

It just happened like a by the way. If you came together as a by the way

It is easy to also leave each other as a by the way. Act like adults

Declare it, make it official. Start this the right way. This is not child’s play


And listen. No one is forcing you to do a big wedding if you can’t afford

All I am asking is make it legal, make it official, honor yourselves and us

Go to the Attorney General for a wedding. Invite me and a few

I will be there. I want to give my daughter to a serious man


Money will always come. When it does, you can do a big wedding

When my daughter was born I officially registered her as a citizen

When she grew, I officially registered her to school, to university

If she gets married, I want an official registration and send off


I want to give her off with my heart in peace

You have done wrong by snatching her without consideration

But I will not judge you solely on that. I don’t know you yet

Meet me, I want to know you more. I want a good son-in-law


I want a son-in-law I can respect. Do something respectful

My daughter cannot ask you for marriage even if she wants to

You are the man. You are the one to propose

If you will be the head of the family, start leading”


The phone call ended. The man looked at the woman he loves

“What’s wrong? She scared you? Leave mum alone, she’s so nosy

I don’t want her all over our business”

The woman said


The man stood up, walked to his woman. Took her hand

“I don’t want to stand in between you and mum

She is the woman who raised you, educated you, she knows you

I need her blessings. I owe so much to her


Tomorrow let’s go see your mum. I want to meet her”

The woman was shocked “What are you saying? You’re serious?”

The man knelt down on one knee, with no ring he asked

“Will you marry me?”

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