It’s easy for what you believe in, what you hold dear, what your fibre is made of to slowly be eroded by the harsh realities of life. Sometimes life presents such stark contradictions that you’d have to be really deeply rooted in your belief not to be swayed. I live right in the middle of such a paradox.
Every single day that I go to work I talk to women who have suffered in the hands of a trusted and loved spouse; and every time a woman walks into the counseling room I know that they have a story of pain and betrayal; because domestic violence is real, more real than we acknowledge. The pain of being physically assaulted, raped, cheated on, demeaned and considered second rate by a person you have given your all is alive and with us.
The other day, a colleague asked me how I have managed to maintain a positive attitude towards men and why in the world I would choose to get caged in a marriage and set myself up for heartbreak and misery. He could not comprehend how after all the horrific stories we hear, I would go ahead and take the plunge.
It wears me down and sometimes I am tempted to cling onto the lame stereotype that all men are alike in every bad way, but I have chosen to stand firm. I have been called foolish and naïve for loving a man so deeply without reservation; some ‘friends’ have even offered their free legal services in case things go sour somewhere along the way. I cannot count the number of times I have heard the phrase ‘enjoy it while it lasts’ whenever I share how thankful I am for the wonderful relationship I share with my husband. But I refuse to be swayed and to be honest it’s not a struggle for me because I have learned to hang on to what I know and not what I fear.
Facts over fears! A mantra that we can all go by, whether you have suffered abuse, live in the fear of being a victim or rest in the reassurance of trusting in God.
Fact: God is just and HE is in control.
Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.