At the start of this week, Kenya Power disconnected my electricity. I don’t blame them. They thought I hadn’t paid my bill; totally justified. To them, I was just a customer who had had too much fun over Christmas and forgot my responsibilities. They were eager to teach me a lesson.
As soon as I got home and realized that Kenya Power had plunged my humble dwelling into darkness, I sought help from their 95551 help line. It was events unfolding from this phone call to numerous visits to Electricity House that shed light on the dark side of Kenya Power that most of us are unfortunately familiar with. Here are the lessons I would like to share.
Lesson 1 – Their Help Line Has No Power: Calling 95551 will subject you to an interrogation by a reluctant attendant about your account details. The attendant will eventually claim to have no power to help you and ask that you visit Electricity House for further assistance. For 95551 to be a help line, you would assume the least they should do is help.
Lesson 2 – They Will Not Listen: So you head over to Electricity House where you find a bored attendant to whom you explain your predicament. With minimal words, he motions you to fill a form detailing your query and asks that you attach a photocopy of your ID. He then dismissively assures you that all will be okay while gesturing to the next client to take your seat. You think to yourself how easy it all seemed only to return to a dark house in the evening.
Lesson 3 – Refer to Lesson 1
Lesson 4 – Your Tweets Have No Power: You resort to venting on social media. Surely someone needs to know about the injustice that you are going through. Your phone battery is at 5% at the time and you figure you could make the best of it by naming and shaming @KenyaPower on twitter. Unfortunately, all your tweet attracts is LOLs & SMHs from your followers and no response from @KenyaPower because… refer to Lesson 2.
Lesson 5 – You Have No Power Over Kenya Power: So after 6 calls to the ‘Help’-line, 5 tweets to @KenyaPower and 4 visits to Electricity House, you come to the realization that Kenya Power is a monopoly that made 6.4 billion shillings in profit last year (I googled). They couldn’t care less about your measly 2000 shillings payment that you calculatedly made via Mpesa in order to increase your chances to Shinda a Home. Kenya Power have no competition so they are in no particular hurry to reconnect your electricity. You need them, they don’t need you. So shut up and eat your cold cereal for dinner… in the dark.