![\"marriage-3\"](\"https:\/\/www.capitalfm.co.ke\/lifestyle\/files\/2013\/01\/marriage-3.jpg\")
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(By S. Munyua)<\/strong> For a significant amount of time, the institution of Marriage has been under attack from the \u201cNew Age\u201d School of thinking that believes that there is no point of getting married because as a single person you can still get everything that a married person gets in a marriage if not more.<\/p>\n Most people in this school of thought believe that getting married is expensive, invasive and does not leave any room for error. So to play safe, they prefer to stay single and have a Come- We- Stay kind of arrangement, a simple fling or an everlasting relationship with no intention of ever exchanging nuptial vows \u00e0 la Oprah and Steadman.<\/p>\n Let me play the Devil\u2019s advocate for a moment and see things from their point of view. Why would you get married if you can get everything that you get in a marriage minus the lifelong commitment? If it\u2019s emotional compatibility you are looking for, you can get it, if its exclusivity; you can get it, if its sex you are looking for, you will get more of it when you are single than when you are married, if its financial stability, you can get it and to some extent, procreation; (though this is debatable).<\/p>\n Leaving a marriage isn\u2019t as easy as one might think. There are a few elements like having to explain yourself to your parents, friends and relatives, relinquishing half your property in the event of a divorce etc.<\/p>\n \u2018Marriage phobia\u2019<\/strong> is making many people control freaks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n While married you have to contend with not having any personal space anymore, the re-introduction of curfews, not having the freedom to decide where you can go whenever you want, new dress codes, and simply not being able to just bring home someone you met on the \u2018rave\u2019…let\u2019s just say it\u2019s like being back in your parents house all over again. The only difference is that this time you are the one paying rent and all the bills.<\/p>\n We are beginning to see certain tendencies repeating themselves and are slowly becoming the norm. For those who do make it to the altar, they seem to want to ensure that they are always in control of the relationship. They \u201cprotect themselves\u201d and can call quits whenever they feel threatened or whenever they want without necessarily getting hurt. Instead of sorting out \u2018issues\u2019 or looking for appropriate solutions to the differences that couples might have, they choose to split especially if there are no kids involved.<\/p>\n For some, marriage has been made a strategic plan where you marry into a wealthy family to better yourself or cushion yourself from the harsh economic times. Marrying someone for their genes and so that your kids are not picked on in school is still considered a reason to get married as well as \u201cwe get a long quite well.\u201d Now more than ever, Kenyans are making well calculative moves to ensure that they land themselves the gentleman or damsel that they want and not the one they love.<\/p>\n At the end of the day, marriage is the epitome of any relationship. And everyone has their opinion on marriage. Opinions will vary, but you are the only one who can set the difference between fact and fiction. A marriage will always be what you make it and one persons\u2019 experience is not exactly the SI unit of what a marriage is. More times than not, the more you put into a marriage the better things will pan out\u2026hoping you are both working towards the same goal. All in all, the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence. What the heck, marriage, can\u2019t be that bad, when you think you are ready, give it a try…millions of people from time immemorial have been doing it. They surely can\u2019t all be wrong and if they were, there would be more separated and divorced people than married people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (By S. Munyua) For a significant amount of time, the institution of Marriage has been under attack from the \u201cNew Age\u201d School of thinking that believes that there is no point of getting married because as a single person you can still get everything that a married person gets in a marriage if not more. Most people in this school of thought believe that getting… <\/p>\n![\"marriage-2\"](\"https:\/\/www.capitalfm.co.ke\/lifestyle\/files\/2013\/01\/marriage-21.jpg\")
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\n\u2018Marriage phobia\u2019<\/strong> is making many people control freaks. You want to be the one to make all the decisions in the relationship and when things get a bit too serious for you to handle or you lose control, you bolt at the first opportunity. You tend to ensure that the topic of \u201cWhere is this going?\u201d or \u201ceveryone is wondering what is taking us so long\u201d is ignored, postponed or is taboo and thus is not discussed.![\"marriage\"](\"https:\/\/www.capitalfm.co.ke\/lifestyle\/files\/2013\/01\/marriage.jpg\")
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