Making a relationship work while maintaining your sanity is easier said than done. Not many couples have been able to achieve the healthy relationship status. Many of us can only dream of being in happy and meaningful relationships devoid of superficiality.
The initial spark of a new relationship is normally so great, but it takes more than attraction to sustain a relationship.
Here are some tips you can employ to your relationship that will make it healthy and long lasting.
1.You can speak your mind with each other
It is important to communicate openly and transparently with your partner.
You should be able to communicate anything and everything as well, even taboo topics or your personal needs.
Take time to listen and empathize with each other.
Good communication entails using certain techniques such as a welcoming body language, concentrative listening and use of respectful language.
2.You give each other space
Space is really important in a relationship. Just because you are now together doesn’t mean that you are glued at the hip.
It is encouraged that you both continue to have separate lives, interests and friends and maintain your own sense of individuality without fearing that your partner is going to feel left out, jealous or resentful.
3.You like each other as you are and make each other better people
You should not try to change each other or fix each other, instead you should always support each other.
Couples in a healthy relationship should love one another for who they are and not who they want their partner to be.
4.You make decisions jointly
A healthy relationship is not about power struggle, it is rather about partnerships that make individuals have equal say.
You cannot be the only one to always call the shots because chances are likely that you won’t like/want the same things all the time.
Movie to see, food to order, restaurant to go to, the number of children to have… you should make such decisions together.
Compromise is key here, if you don’t agree on something and you have two different options, agree to take turns to try out each other’s options and respect each other while at it.
5.You trust each other
Two individuals in a healthy relationship should be able to spend time away from each other without worrying about their significant other’s whereabouts or worry about who they are with.
Trust issues/codependency in the relationship begin when you stalk your partner’s movements on social media and constantly ask them for updates on their whereabouts.
Trust means trusting your partners decisions and feeling secure within yourself.
6.You fight…fair with each other
Arguing is healthy in a relationship, but only when you argue justly and effectively.
If you don’t argue, then it means that you are likely bottling up your feelings which will later turn to resentment.
Chances are that if your communication with each other is good, then you will argue effectively. This means that both parties can state their opinions while trying to understand where the other person is coming from.
This can also in turn make it easy to apologize meaningfully to your partner when you are wrong.
Destructive fighting is when partners use aggressive language and behavior to hurt each other whenever they disagree with each other.
7.You don’t hold grudges
The more you get to know your partner, the more likely you are bound to get on each other’s nerves. Which is very normal.
We all can get agitated from time to time and this can make us say and do some things we don’t really mean to our partners than can upset/hurt them.
It is important to learn to talk about your issues openly once you have calmed down and apologize for the wrong you did or said and move on without holding a grudge (especially if the apology you received or gave was sincere.)
8.You have realistic expectations
It takes a lot of work to keep a relationship going, why? Because the prefect partner does not exist!
Healthy couples realize that it takes a lot of work to have a long-lasting relationship and the key to achieve this is through the three C’s : Communication, Commitment and Compromise. If you understand this then you will not have unrealistic expectations.
9.You are friends
Healthy couples share common interests, enjoy hanging out together, make each other laugh and treat each other with kindness, understanding, consideration, empathy and appreciation.
Just like best friends, people in a healthy relationship should be able to talk about anything and everything and confide in each other without the fear of judgement.
It is important to feel comfortable with/around your partner.
One of the healthiest things in a relationship is to enjoy being with each other. Spending time together whether it’s going for long walks, cuddling on the sofa and watching something you both like or going on dinner dates.
Taking time off your busy schedules (not as an obligation) to spend some quality time and connect with your partner is one of the best things you can do for your relationship.
10.You talk to your partner about your relationship issues, not other people
This simply means that you keep your relationship details private.
It is a normal thing to turn to friends and family when it comes to seeking relationship advice whenever you run into conflict with your partner but sharing your problems publicly on social media is no- no! It is passive aggressive and can destroy the trust you have built with them.
Everyone needs a sense of privacy in order to feel safe. Your relationship needs that as well.
11.You are intimate
Sex is beneficial in a relationship but so is intimacy. Intimacy simply means that you have a bond either sexually, romantically or being familiar with each other.
Maintaining a healthy relationship means courting your partner with affection, quality time, gift giving, words of affirmation and of course physical touch.
12.You say the magic words to each other regularly
Couples in a healthy relationship should be free with each other and be able to honestly say the magic words to each other. Words like I love you, I appreciate you, I’m sorry, Thank you… can help you be closer with each other.