Crew, squad, pack! These are all terms we used to explain our friends. What is a friend though? Technically speaking friend:
- a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
What happens in the age of #Nonewfriends. Is it just another antisocial media cry for help? Or do we just say it to validate a weakening bond? I mean from juggling preschool friends, primary friends, high school friends, college/university friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, work friends, your children’s friends’ parents. When do does it end? When do we say, “NO NEW FRIENDS,” thanks? These multiple groups you have to intricately navigate, all vying for your affection and attention. A need you loved in primary, “everyone can join” mentality doesn’t actually work when work friend A slept with College friend B, who is now dating high school friend C, no one likes preschool friend D and not to mention boyfriend and girlfriend E and F are actually in a situationship so that’s a mess. Weddings, funerals, birthdays and leaving parties to name a few ends up occupying your mind, calendar and life.
British musician Labyrinth, Sia, and Diplo sang “we are the kings and queens seeking our aces out/we got all we need, no new friends now.” Pop culture is screaming it in our faces but what is the real message being yelled back? Exclusion the new ultimate friendship fulfillment package.
Transition is necessary. As you transition through education, age and life experiences so should the people around you. A network built on support not length of time. I am at the age where my friends are getting married and having children. If my best friend were to ask me for marriage advice, what the hell would I know? I mean, I literally just got off my phone from swiping right and she’s talking about marriage. The friends that used to be my whole world are now a 16-hour flight away… and that’s ok too. Things change.
#Nonewfriends simply can’t work. My high school friends are scattered all over the world, keeping in touch with double taps and when we see each other it’s like nothing and everything has changed. University friends are almost all married, concurring the working world and in their own bubbles. The occasional checkups to make sure there’s still a bond (it’s even be stronger now). Work friends, the ones who keep you sane in an ever-changing environment. Then there are the new friends. The new friends you made all on your own. They are not passed over to you by your old friends, you formed your own opinion. You sought them out and so did they. They excite you, draw you closer to your aspirations, they are tough without judgement. They remind you that there are different types of people in the world, but you are smart enough to judge for yourself. Don’t get me wrong and don’t get confused by the term “real friend” because a new friend can be a real friend. They can be a real friend because you get to be unapologetically yourself and they accept it for what it is.
Don’t get caught up in the #Nonewfriends pop culture phenomenon. You just might find yourself chained to a group of people you tolerate with nothing real to say. Your new friends don’t mean you discard the old ones, that’s literally like comparing apples and oranges.