Losing someone you love is a painful thing no one should ever go through but sadly at some point in life, we will all have to go through this.

Sean “Diddy” Combs is opening up about life after the sudden death of his soul mate, and former girlfriend Kim Porter.

In his first candid interview after Kim’s death, Diddy tells Essence magazine, he has come to realize family comes first no matter what.

“Before this, I was a part-time father, you know? My family was always first, but there are countless times when I chose work over everything else. But every day I can hear her telling me to go and spend some time with the kids and make sure everybody’s all right, like she would do. I’m just a lot more present, and, most important, now my kids come before anything else in my life.”

In the aftermath, he has had to learn that his loved ones come first, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Combs told the magazine he has learned to be a more attentive father in the aftermath of his grief.

P Diddy together with his six children, are on the cover of Essence magazine’s 49th anniversary May issue. Porter is the mother of three of his children, 21-year-old Christian and 12-year-old twin girls Jesse and D’Lila.

Motherhood meant everything to Porter, and Diddy shared that even in her final moments her children were all that was on her mind.

“She was unforgettable,” he said recalling the moment he realized she was gone. “That day turned my world upside down. Three days before she passed, she wasn’t feeling well. She had the flu, and she sent the kids over to my house so they wouldn’t get sick. One night I was checking on her, and she was like, ‘Puffy, take care of my babies.’ She actually said that to me before she died.”

Porter was found dead at her Los Angeles-area home. She was only 47 years old. Paternity papers that Porter filed in March 2001 stated that she and Combs had an intimate relationship between 1995 and 2000. They were more than just amiable exes—they were best friends who loved each other dearly, maintaining a true partnership and working together as parents.