How to handle Rejection

Suicide, depression, ulcers, domestic violence and killings; these are some of the destructive ways people deal with rejection.

Let us look at a few truths about rejection.

1. Rejection is part of life. You will face rejection in your love life, your professional life, in business, in your family, in your spiritual walk.

2. When you have a strong identity and know your worth, you will handle rejection well. But when you look for validation from your spouse, your children, your siblings, your family, your pastor, your colleagues; rejection will crash you because you are giving power to others over you.

3. When you idolize a mere human being that you love, be it your spouse, your partner, your parents or someone you have a crush on; you will feel worthless if they reject you. Stop idolizing human beings. Your life revolves around God, not a person.

4. When you idolize money, wealth, a car, a job, or an award, your life will feel useless when you lose it. Let your worth not be centred on things and accomplishments.

5. The world is made of people walking different journeys and some will reject you because their journey has yet to, or will never align with yours.

6. Sometimes rejection is a good thing, it keeps you from investing where you shouldn’t because sometimes we are too blind to see we are going in the wrong direction or in the wrong relationship and so the door must be closed to save us.

7. Have expectation that doors will open for you, but don’t be fixed on how those doors will open. This will keep you from going depressed, just because things don’t go your way or you don’t get that job or deal. Have the vision but remember there are many paths to it.

8. People who are impatient struggle the most with rejection. They want things happening their way right now or want to micromanage or manipulate people hence others reject them and repel them.

9. If you know how awesome and great you are, you won’t feel worthless when someone who doesn’t see your greatness rejects you. It is their loss.

10. You would rather be rejected by someone who is not serious about you during dating, than to commit to them in marriage.

11. Your spouse can reject you through cheating, disrespect or even by asking for a divorce. It will hurt, but when you know you were complete before getting married, and you are complete even after marriage, you will walk away and heal. No need forcing yourself in a marriage where you are not needed.

12. Sometimes people will reject you because they have been fed stereotypes and lies about you. This is why it is important to know oneself otherwise rumors and lies will make you lose your balance.

13. Sometimes people will reject you because they don’t see the same vision you do and it’s OK. Understand them. You see what you see and pursue it.

14. Being rejected by your parents hurts, but remember, parents are not our God, they are but stewards and sometimes they abdicate that role of stewardship. Honour them but curve your own path, as an adult, you choose the man/woman you become.

15. If you are religious and claiming you have a spirit of rejection, remember that Jesus too was rejected but he didn’t have a spirit of rejection. In fact, the stone that was rejected turned out to be the cornerstone. You don’t have a spirit of rejection, sometimes people just don’t get you and understand your purpose but one day they will only as long as you stay true to self.

16. Once you reject yourself, you will put yourself down, develop a low self-esteem and no matter how much people value you and love you, you will demean yourself and see you as unworthy.

17. Rejection can actually be good for our growth, sometimes being dumped, being told NO, being fired, being abandoned or turned down pushes us to self analyse and work on ourselves. Sometimes doors don’t open because we have not yet grown ready for them but eventually we will.

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