Dayan Masinde tries to make things a little easier for the gentlemen by being bold enough to mention the 12 things most men are afraid to tell their woman. Women…take this as a very live hint!
1. “My ex called me”
Many women get insecure about any contact from their man’s ex even if the man and the ex are completely through and nothing can happen. The ex might have called to say hallo, for business or nothing harmful. Yes, boundaries must be kept but not every ex is a no go zone. The insecurity of many women is what makes many men keep secrets from them and secrets birth mistrust and complications.
2. “Your weave stinks”
Natural hair is good. But if a woman is going to wear a weave, the weave should be well done and well-maintained to avoid foul smells which the man will notice when near her, hugging her, holding her.
3. “I am broke”
Yes, men can run out of money despite the expectation that they must provide or foot the bills. Sometimes even if a man has money, he could be having many needs and responsibilities yet the woman puts pressure on him to meet her needs that may not even be that important, especially if the woman is the type who says “His money is mine, my money is mine”. The man might end up running into debt or despising the demanding woman who would belittle him if he says he can’t afford it.
4. “I am not your dad”
Some women expect their man to be like their father; either because their dad was absent in their life growing up, or because their dad was such a loving and big figure in their life and so the woman wants the man to continue what daddy was doing. But she should address her daddy issues, her man is not her dad to treat her like a girl, baby sit and raise her; he is her man with his own personality and perspective to treat her as a woman, grow with her as they help each other.
5. “Give me space”
When the man goes briefly silent, many women easily take this to mean his love for her is dying. She gets defensive and suspicious, nagging him yet he doesn’t know how to say “My Sweerie, I love you and enjoy your company but sometimes I need time alone for me. Relax, I am not going anywhere”
6. “That woman is beautiful”
The world is full of many beautiful women, even when a man gets married, he will notice these beautiful women. Some will be his sisters, his friends, strangers or celebrities. Oogling at other women is wrong but appreciating them is not. It is wrong when appreciation turns into flirting. It’s ok to compliment other women but before he does so, he must shower his woman most with praise. There are many beautiful women but to him, she is the most beautiful. Besides, he loves her for more than just her beauty but her entire package. So relax woman, your position is secure even in a sea of beautiful women.
7. “Can we have a small wedding?”
It is often said the wedding is done for the woman. The woman is often the one who has long been dreaming over every detail of her wedding, the man has been dreaming of marrying her whichever way possible. It is possible to find the right partner but lack enough resources to pull off a dream wedding. The wedding is important but the marriage most important. Don’t stress yourself over a wedding you can’t afford at the time, don’t start hating on your friends when they fall short in supporting your wedding fundraisng. A small and low budget wedding can also be rich in love. You can do it small now then bigger years later when you have built your empire as a couple. Don’t have an expensive wedding only to start marriage in debt
8. “You are fat”
Being big bodied is a good thing. The female body changes over time. Some women look good with a big body. But there is being big bodied and then there is being fat. A man might shy away from telling her woman “Please do something about your body. Work out” because her feelings might get hurt. Deep down, he feels bad about her letting herself loose; and more so, he is concerned about her health.
9. “I wish you had an inner drive and ambition”
A man loves it when a woman challenges him intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and socially. A woman he can have a deep conversation with, maybe even debate on issues with. But some women become lazy, lack ambition, don’t grow and remain as they were when she and him met. She should advance herself, or else he might find her boring and find conversations with other women more stimulating.
10. “Please don’t rush me”
It is very important for a woman to know where the relationship with him is heading to but she shouldn’t nag him and corner him because she is competing with her peers. Love isn’t built in a day, love has no formula and sometimes a man doesn’t have everything figured out. No relationship is the same. Some date for two months then get married, others court for two years, five years, or eight years then they marry. Taking the relationship to the next level should be done when both are ready, not because the man is rushed to propose or the woman is forced to say yes.
11. “I wish you can be more sexually hungry or appealing”
Some women expect their husbands to be faithful but they don’t work on their sex appeal. They are too rigid, boring, closed minded, self-conscious, numb, and pouring cold water on the man’s advances. They don’t dress to impress, no more lingerie, they never initiate intimacy making the man feel he is the only one in need of pleasure. They are ever tired, giving excuses, starting other stories when he is busy trying to please her and they get distracted in the middle of the action. Some forget about the husband and pleasing him as soon the baby/ babies come in the picture.
12. “Don’t compare us with your friends”
Many women compare their relationship/ marriage with that of others. They undermine their own love and admire that of others, crashing the man’s efforts. They keep yapping “I wish we were like so and so” “I wish we had this and that like so and so”… the man ends up feeling demoralized and unappreciated because no matter how hard he tries, she is always fixated on where the grass appears greener.