Dear beautiful woman, be a beauty with brains. So you have been intimate with a married man, and he is promising to make you his second wife. The title of wife makes you think you are serious and special to him. But don’t accept to be his second wife because…

1. You are entering to it though the door of unfaithfulness. When he was pursuing you it was an affair, he is married.

2. A husband and wife cannot be one if another woman comes into the picture. You are distracting him from being a good husband and father, you are intruding.

3. In marriage, the husband and wife are equal. If it is expected for the wife to be faithful to her one husband, why should the husband not be faithful to his one wife?

4. When the husband and legitimate wife got married, they vowed to faithfulness, love and exclusivity. Why are you as an outsider coming to help him break that vow?

5. Most often the man asking you to be his second wife does so because he sees women as a weaker gender, sees women as a trophy in his cabinet, wants to legitimize and justify his affair, and is seeking for ways he can keep having sex with you yet still keep his legitimate marriage; or he does so just because you got an unplanned pregnancy.

6. If you accept to be his second wife, what is stopping him from getting a number three, four and five? You are not that special.

7. You should be top priority, number one, why accept to be second best?

8. No woman who is the legitimate wife will be OK with sharing her husband. It is not what she vowed to in marriage. How would you feel if you were the legitimate wife and another woman comes to divide your marriage? Don’t do that to a fellow woman.

8. The reason why so many men get away with affairs and breaking their home is because out there are women willing to be used by the man in doing so. Don’t let him use you.

9. At the end, the man is not proud to stand in front of the world and say “This is my first wife and that is my second wife and that is my third”. Inside him he is unsettled, especially when the women he is playing with wake up.

10. How would you feel being introduced as the second wife? The world knowing you are the woman who came to spoil another woman’s marriage?

11. How will you live with yourself as a woman when you face and witness the pain, anger and shame you have brought on the legitimate wife?

12. Why subject yourself to a life where your child/children have a dad who is constantly absent? You explaining to your child/children daddy had to go be with another family?

13. Look at funerals, the lives and families of men with multiple women suffer. The kids suffer most. The child/children of the legitimate wife will despise you and your child/children. Your child/children will struggle to fit in the man’s schedule. Why put yourself and your child/children through all these? Because of selfishness? It always ends ugly.

14. You may be the second wife, but the legitimate wife will always be the one who taught him love, the one who made him the man you now want. Don’t be an opportunist. Find your own man and make him great.

15. The fact that you would mess up a legitimate marriage and hurt the children in that legitimate marriage just so that you live a comfortable and happy life, says a lot about yourself.

16. You are an amazing woman, you can have any man you want, there are so many single men out there. Why do you settle for less? Why share? Why force yourself where you were not welcomed?

17. Why commit your entire future to a man who is OK and casual about breaking the commitment he made to his legitimate wife? He can’t be trusted.

18. You will never be one with him because you are not his only one.