By Judy Mills
New parents have the right to teach and show their little ones the ways of the family and its beliefs, which is a natural and very necessary part of their childhood.
Any parent of teenagers entering puberty will tell us that they sometimes look at their children and wonder what happened to the sweet, obedient, agreeable children they reared! The breaking away from the norm is essential to the development of their own personality and learning for themselves what is right for them and not their parents.
Given that we were reared by parents or caregivers, we have all been at the receiving end of some kind of control. We too have broken rules and found our own way in life. Often we still insist that things should be done our way.
The cycle of control is not entirely broken! We like to exercise control over our peers, spouses and colleagues to get what we want and how we want it.
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realising that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” – Deborah Reber
Are you presently in a situation where you feel manipulated?
Do find yourself doing things that go against the grain, that make you feel uncomfortable? Perhaps you are doing things or behaving in a manner ‘just to keep the peace’. These examples show that you are being manipulated in some way. This should be a red light for you to make a change.
Are you one of those people who keep telling others how to do things better?
Are you bullying others to get what you want? Do you find that you are getting frustrated because everyone isn’t doing what you want in the manner you want? Well, then you need to take a good look at your motives and actions.
There is nothing that is guaranteed in life
Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. The perfect job doesn’t seem so perfect when we have to deal with the mundane and with controversial clients or colleagues. Friendships don’t stand the test of time. Contracts of every sort have a clause that enables each party to withdraw, even if there are penalties to be paid.
Let’s face the truth: the only thing that we can and should change is our attitude, our actions and our thoughts.
There simply is no sense behind exercising control over another
It says more about you than it does about their choices and actions. There is something wonderful about letting someone know that you love and accept them just the way they are. They need no tweaking or modification!
We need to encourage individualism – let each person be in your space because they WANT to be there, not because they have to.
Wouldn’t you rather have motivated staff, happy children and a content spouse – ie people who choose to be by your side? Relinquishing control will not only make you happier, but everyone around you will be happier too.
Teach yourself how to change your own thoughts and actions in order to stop trying to control everything and everyone around you. In other words – grow up emotionally.
People are not put in our path to use and abuse, they are not here for YOUR benefit! They are here to make the best of their life experience, just like you are.