Relationship expert shares advice for women of all ages

Shouldn't have painted the town red last night

By Dr. John Demartini

We had a Q&A session with human behaviourist Dr John Demartini, on some of the challenges associated with dating in today’s society …

Some life situations can be more challenging than others when it comes to dating. What is your advice to a widower, single mother and moms of teen daughters?

The widower

There are just as many advantages as disadvantages to being a widow. That is not necessarily a hindrance. Widowers have already been pre-selected and found to be viable mates. So if a women argues for some form of limitation then that will become their limit, but every situation could be also seen for its advantages.

Advice to widowers:

Widowers can wisely ask themselves; “how specifically is me being a widow a great advantage for me and my potential new man?” By stacking up as many advantages as possible (at least 20 – 50) women can transform the illusion that being a widow is some form of hindrance into it being a great opportunity. It is about seeing how them being a widow is on the way, not in the way. Being empowered by each aspect of their life adds unique contribution to their potential mate.

Single mothers

Although there may be some concerns in the minds of single women, like whether their men will want a child other than their own, or whether they will have to deal with a unpredictable and entangled former husband, or whether the added costs and complexities will shy them away. These are all fair questions and possible concerns, but there are also just as many advantages to the same single mother scenarios. Fears are imbalanced perspectives that dissolve once they are balanced.

Advice for single mothers:

Women as single mothers can also be an attractive turn on for some men. There is a man for every woman out there. Having a child can be exactly what some men desire. They get to see how the mothering style is without wondering and taking a risk. They can become easily attached to a young child and prepare for being a parent in advance. They can be with a woman that is more mature and stable. It is wise for women to take whatever cards they are holding and look deeper and discover the advantages to match any disadvantages for the advantages are always there to create a balance.

Every aspect of women can be spun into their favor if they see the advantages from within and capitalize on them. It is all about how they present themselves. If they see themselves as flawed or disadvantaged then they will exude that image and energy.

It is wise for women to say to themselves: “No matter what I have done or not done I am worthy of love. I have something unique and amazing to offer my man and the world”

When women are empowered they become magnetic and an amazing catch.

It is wise for women to say to themselves: “No matter what I have done or not done I am worthy of love. I have something unique and amazing to offer my man and the world”

The mother with a teenage daughter

Mothers are wise to communicate in an educational, objective, but caring manner, the reality of the dating world – the behaviors men may display and motives they may have. Subjective biases from previous personal wounds are to be moderated.

Projecting wounds onto daughter can backfire and result in the very fear that has not been resolved in the mother. Educating them and progressively trusting them with more accountability over time pays dividends.

Being open and sharing personal challenges and helping daughters crack childish fantasies in advance can assist them in adjusting to the dating and mating world of young men.

Here are 10 tips to those dating situations that aren’t the norm (widowers, single mothers, teen daughters advice etc…)

· Work a little each day at empowering all seven areas of your life – from looks to books.

· Identify what is truly most important, valuable and meaningful to your life – the true you and become clear on what you are dedicated to.

· Prioritize your life and stick to your priorities each day empowering greater self-worth and authenticity.

· Get out in the world and do what is truly meaningful to you so you are most magnetic and inspired.

· Ask yourself how every one of your so-called flaws are actually advantages until you are grateful for being the real you – it helps others do the same.

· Smile and introduce yourself to great men showing a true and sincere interest and listen to them to discover their highest values.

· Practice communicating what you have as a package in terms of their true and confirmed highest values – watch out for projections or assumptions.

· Be patient and selective – raise the standards to allow for a quality match – don’t rush the process.

· Fill your day with such high priority and meaningful actions that you are not desperate, you are empowered and magnetic.

· Make a list of things you are grateful for each day within your own life and your potential mates. Those who are grateful attract more to be grateful for. Learn to say “Thank you” and “I love you”.

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