1. “I am taken”
There will always be women trying to lure a man especially when he is taken. A taken man looks presentable because there is already a woman/wife in his life making him shine. A weak man will not let an opportunity to taste new waters of new women pass. But a great man will turn down their advances, remain loyal to the woman who has stood by him all this while, and have the guts to tell those opportunistic women “I am taken. Keep off!”
2. “I am my own man”
People will put expectations on a man, “Why can’t you be like your dad?”, ‘Why not follow the footsteps of your brother?”, “Why are you not as rich as so and so”, “Why don’t you venture into this business/ career?”, “Why don’t you talk like so and so”… a great man is firm in his identity, he chooses his own path and walks it. He tells his parents, his uncles, the world “Yes, there have been and are many great men, but I wasn’t born to copy. Let me find my own direction, let me make my own mistakes, let me be my own man, and find my own greatness”
3. “God, teach me”
A man must humble himself and come to the realization that he needs God, he cannot make it on his own. That he asks God for wisdom, how to be the best man/ husband to his woman, how to be the best father, how to live an honorable life.
4. “Count me out”
Friends can be destructive, they can mock a man that he is spending too much time with his woman/wife, “Amekaliwa na bibi”, they can organize for a strip show with prostitutes, encourage unfaithfulness, make you waste your money, dare you to be a man by doing wrong, dare you to drink and drive or try out retrogressive lifestyles. A great man knows his values, priorities and boundaries. He is not swayed by peer pressure. Yes, it is good to have friends and those friends must be good friends; but when friends suggest a wrong plan or even when good friends are demanding too much time away from your family or responsibilities, a great man has the guts to say “Count me out”
5. “How shall we do family planning?”
Family planning should not be left to the woman alone. The man should have the guts to ask the woman how they shall do it, settling on what works best for them both. After all, don’t men say they are the head of the family?… the head has to plan.
6. “I will raise our child”
Whether a pregnancy is planned or unplanned, the man should have the guts to declare “I will raise our child”. He shouldn’t be the one to advocate for an abortion, the one to leave and run but the one to stay and rise up to the role of fatherhood. There are some fathers who accept the child but distance themselves from the child and when the child errs, they are quick to blame it on the wife. Fatherhood is being active in the upbringing of the child.
7. “Honey, don’t you dare beat yourself up”
The man’s woman can sometimes feel low, she can feel sorry for herself and harbor negative thoughts. A great man has the guts to counter his woman’s negative thoughts and keep her from losing hope and slipping into despair and laxity.
8. “I was wrong”
It takes guts to admit failure, defeat or a mistake. A great man is open to correction and the process of learning.
9. “I love you”
True love is for the brave. A courageous man will not just love but declare his love for the woman. The same way he prides himself in his achievements, he will take pride in loving and being loved by such an amazing woman.
10. “Will you marry me?”
It takes guts for a man to propose to a woman. His heart is on the line as the power to say “Yes” or “No” lies with her. But when a man is serious about loving a woman, he will want to keep her officially and in the right and transparent way. He will want her official consent to spend the rest of his life with her. He will make her his wife to demonstrate how serious he is.
11. “Mum, respect my wife!”
Sometimes the man’s parents or siblings try to undermine his wife. They try to manipulate him and control the man and his marriage. But a great man has the guts to stand up to his own family and defend his wife and household, shooting down any attempts to attack or frustrate his wife.