(by Carly Spindel)
Here’s the cold hard truth about wedding planning, so you can be prepared …
Being engaged is the most exciting time of your life!
The love of your life just proposed and you are to marry him! Yes, it’s so exciting it’s bringing a smile to my face right now! However, planning the wedding isn’t quite as exhilarating. There are tons of things to think about that no one tells you.
Here’s the cold hard truth about wedding planning so you can be prepared…
1. Consider others before you think about yourself
Yep, it’s true. Have you always wanted a dream wedding at a castle in Tuscany? Me too. But, here’s a newsflash. Unless your guests are all retired millionaires, that’s really, really hard to execute.
Wedding planning comes with co-ordination for all of your guests and believe me, it’s not a walk in the park. A nice bride and groom are considerate of their guests and think about cost-effective options when it comes to lodging and travel. So, whether it’s your shower, bachelorette party, or wedding venue, you will think about your guests more than you think about yourselves.
Planning a wedding isn’t all a walk in the park. There are tons of things to think about that no one tells you
2. The MOB can be a pill
If the MOB (mother of the bride) is paying for the wedding, that’s incredible. However, that usually comes with some strings attached, which is what I like to call mama-drama. When your mom is involved in wedding planning, she’s likely to want things her way. Whether it’s the colour of the flowers, or where the rehearsal dinner is, it’s common to butt heads with her a little.
Focus on the big picture – which is that you are marrying the man of your dreams.
3. You will fight with your fiancé
Wedding planning makes everything extra stressful. You’re kind of on edge all the time and it isn’t fun. You might not agree on everything, alas a fight or two might happen. It’s expected and not something to stress over. As long as you know it might happen, be prepared for it.
Remind yourself (and him!) over and over again that arguing doesn’t solve anything. Keep calm and talk about your concerns calmly. Communication is super important!
4. Money is going to stress you out
It’s a fact – money is going to stress you out. When you realise the cost of all things wedding-related, you might have a little panic attack. The site fees, taxes and gratuity alone all add up quite fast. The price of things in the wedding industry could make you fall off your chair. But the goal is to only marry once, so it’s worth it, hopefully.
Wedding planning makes everything extra stressful!
5. You have to think of every single little detail
You have to plan every single second of the wedding weekend, from the moment your guests arrive for the rehearsal dinner until the last one leaves after the brunch. Speaking from personal experience, trust me, it’s a challenge. No one imagines you have to think of a rain plan, or what your bridesmaids are going to have for breakfast as they get ready with you on your big day.
Logistics require you to be very detail oriented, which I like to call extra stress. Know in advance that you’re going to spend at least three months organising, organising again, and then organising some more. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel because then you can say “I do” in front of your nearest and dearest.
6. There are hidden costs… everywhere
No one tells you about the hidden costs, so I’m here to give it to you straight. There are hidden costs for literally everything. Have you heard of vendor meals? Well, I hadn’t either. Some venues charge you for meals per person for each vendor that you have. So, you’re paying for your band, officiant, hair and make-up artist, and your photographers to have a delicious dinner too.
I suggest you ask all wedding vendors about the hidden costs, so you can include them in your wedding budget.
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7. Your fiancé might be a ‘groomzilla’
A ‘groomzilla’ is defined as a demanding and perfectionistic groom. Sound familiar, ladies? If your groom exhibits any groomzilla qualities, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t fret about it, because it’s really not a big deal. He can’t wait to marry you and wants your special day to be just as perfect as you do.
A ‘groomzilla’ is defined as a demanding and perfectionistic groom. Sound familiar, ladies?
8. You may not have the money for everything you want
The Notorious B.I.G. said, “more money, more problems”, but this doesn’t apply here. Most people don’t have an unlimited budget. That would be nice, but it isn’t practical. So, you may not have the budget for everything you’ve always wanted – and that’s totally fine.
Just focus on the details that people remember.
Sure, a flower wall sounds great. Are 10 hors d’oeuvres better than five? I think so. But are they a necessity? Of course not. Spend your money wisely and on the things that you two as a couple will remember.
9. Your single friends may not be supportive
Single women are known to be less supportive in the wedding preparations than married women. It’s unfortunate, but it’s almost always true. Your single friends may not be over the moon that you’re engaged and they’re not. But, don’t let it get you down. You’re marrying Mr. Right and that’s beyond remarkable. Not everyone needs to be jumping for joy that you’re getting married.
10. Everyone will have an opinion
The more people you tell about your wedding, the more opinions on it you will get. Everyone thinks they know what’s best and they want to overload you with information. Bear in mind that it’s not their day. The details for the big day are up to you and your groom (and sometimes your MOB!).
The more people you tell about your wedding, the more opinions on it you will get
11. You will have at least one ‘bridezilla’ moment
Don’t stand on ceremony and wait for it. I promise, you will have a ‘bridezilla’ moment. It might be for a day, or it could last a tad longer – but it will happen. You will be convinced that something absurdly nutty is a basic wedding essential. It’s common, and it happens to most brides. You need something to laugh about afterwards, so shrug it off when it happens.
12. Your favourite vendor might be booked
Wedding planners, photographers, bands, and hair and make-up artists get booked up at least a year in advance. If you’re getting married in peak wedding season (September through March), there’s a high probability that your favourite vendor might be booked. The wedding industry is filled with talented people. If your first choice is booked, don’t fret, the second and third options are just as fabulous!
Now that you know some of the drama that occurs with wedding planning, be prepared for it. Make sure to find quality time for you and your fiancé in between in all.