Let me start by saying it was not an overnight thing. I did not wake up one morning and decide that I was no longer anxious about my life and the lack of ‘decent man-love’ in it.
The surrender was slow and it was sweet
I say surrender because that is what I started to do.
I realised (gradually) that I was a prisoner of not only my thoughts, but also my past. I was hanging on (tightly) to so many bad experiences.
Focusing too much on the negative side of things about my past, what I thought the future held for me and, what I thought about myself. So, I started taking my negatives and turning them into realistic positives.
Here are a few, to give you an example:
‘All men lie and cheat’ changed to, ‘Loads of men lie and cheat, but there have to be just as many out there who are honest and loyal. THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME.’
‘I am running out of time’ changed to, ‘Look around, so much can happen in a short space of time!’
‘My fertility is fading fast’ changed to, ‘So many women are having their first baby at 35 and older these days. Get a grip!
‘I’m never going to meet a decent man’ changed to, ‘Surely I have to meet a nice guy eventually’
‘I wish I’d done/handled things differently and not wasted so much time’ changed to, ‘I did what I felt was right at the time. I have learnt valuable lessons. I know what I want and do not want from a relationship. Yes, the time is gone, but being bitter about it won’t bring it back, so why waste MORE time being miserable?’
Acceptance and positivity feel so much better than dwelling/brooding and being negative.
BUT, the number one thing that helped me, was recognising my worth and building my self-esteem. And this is how you can work on yours too…
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