13 Common Reasons Couples Choose to Stay Together

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Are you in a relationship/ marriage? Look at that person and ask yourself ‘Why am I with this person?”. People stay for different reasons:

1. “For money”

Are you staying with that person for financial security? Are you using that person to make up for your laziness or poverty? What would happen when you get your own money or if that person’s money runs out? Will that be the end? Will you have no reason to stay?

2. “For pity”

Are you wishing you can walk out of that relationship but you stay because you feel sorry for the person and don’t want to break his/ her heart? If you will love, love; no one wants to be loved as if it’s charity, as if they are being done for a favor.

3. “For sex”

Is sex the only reason you two are together? Is your relationship that empty? You two are just sex buddies. Soon, one or both of you will be tired of the games and will want a more meaningful relationship and you’ll leave each other. Empty sex eventually gets boring when you wise up.

4. “For your parents”

Are you tolerating the relationship because you want to please your parents? The more you do things for others and not yourself, the more unhappy you will grow. And one day that pent up unhappiness will ignite and an ugly scene will erupt.

5. “For social status”

Are you obsessed with projecting an image of you having someone in your life that you would stay yet you are unhappy? Is the person you are with just a trophy? Being single doesn’t mean something is wrong, broken or incomplete with you.

6. “For the child”

It is wonderful to do things for your children, but don’t forget you have a right to be happy too. If you will stay with someone for your child/ children, resolve also on working on good relations with that person. Children grow best in an environment of love, when they see mum and dad loving each other. Don’t focus too much on the kids that you forget each other. Be good parents but still be good lovers because one day the kids will grow and leave, and you’ll be left just the two of you.

7. “For stupidity”

Are you with someone who beats you, cheats on you, rapes you, insults you, lies to you, and shames you; why are you staying? Is this how you want to be loved? Do you have a low self-esteem? Do you love yourself?

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8. “For revenge”

Some people commit to someone to make their ex feel bad, they will jump on a rebound to cover the pain of a break up. They will have an affair to react to the problems in their legitimate relationship/ marriage Are you using the person you are with to get back at your ex? Is that fair?

9. “For personal gain”

Are you staying because that person has something you need; a promotion, a deal, a ticket to a better life but you are hiding behind love? That is not love, that is being an opportunist.

9. “For the time being”

Are you staying with that person as you wait for your true love? You know that person is not the one for you but you pretend it’s love to pass time? Your true love will not come as long as his/ her place is occupied by someone else. Make yourself single, be available for true love to find you.

10. “For the friends”

Is the person you are with your friends or your choice? Are you staying because your friends like that person, they think you two are a lovely couple but are you really?

11. “For old times sake”

Are you staying because you feel you have invested so much in what you two have and you feel if you separate it will all go to waste? Don’t imprison your future because of yesterday’s paradise. A relationship whose past is brighter than the future is as good as dead; stay, not because you were good for each other but because you still are good for each other.

12. “For fear of the unknown”

Is it clear that you and the person you are clinging to are going nowhere, that you are being mistreated but you still stay because you are scared of being alone or scared of what the future holds? Fear and loneliness shouldn’t keep you where you shouldn’t be.

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13. “For love”

This is the best reason to stay; when you two have love. Love doesn’t mean you won’t have challenges, you’ll never lack, never step on each other’s toes, never feel low; but it means of all the billions of people in this world, there is no one else you’d rather go through life with than each other. It means each day you love each other more, you are proud of what you two have. At the end, it is about what you two have in God and everything else; sex, kids, money, success, victory fits in the love you two keep building, “I am not letting you go because what we have I can never find with another; I need you, you need me!”

So why are you staying?

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as “The Artist Inspired by Love” because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE” is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

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