by Anthony Rockliffe
Last time we discussed the formula for successful relating, I told you all about the first step – proximity, where you put yourself in the general vicinity of the other person and allow yourself to be noticed (or not). The next step is frequency.
Over time you will gradually increase the number of times you will place yourself in that person’s vicinity.
So if you know they go to a certain coffee shop every day (for instance), you will begin by every now and then getting coffee at the same time and place. You don’t want to overwhelm the other person, but you want the person to say, “Oh, I have seen that person here before”, and slowly build familiarity over time.
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It is very easy to come on too strong, and if you suddenly start showing up every day at every instant when they are there, there is a good chance they will get a bit nervous of you.
The energy a relationship begins with, will be the energy it ends with. So if you start the relationship from a place of fear and desperation then you are dooming it to end that way as well
Remember, what you want is a successful relationship, not a “take a risk and see what you get” relationship. The latter approach does not work out too well.
The more comfortable and familiar the person gets with having you in their space, the greater the chance of a successful start to a relationship.
You will achieve this slowly over time.
I know you are thinking that you want that relationship NOW! And that if you don’t move fast, someone else will. How has that strategy worked out for you so far?
The energy a relationship begins with, will be the energy it ends with
So if you start the relationship from a place of fear and desperation then you are dooming it to end that way as well.