22 Signs you could be a Commitment Phobe!

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1. You relate best on virtual relationships not on real face to face relationships. You have many “chat mates” who make you feel close but you keep them at a distance, no meeting face to face.

2. You attract good suitors to yourself then chase them away, finding an excuse why it can’t work.

3. You admire other married couples and those in good relationships but still claim love is dead.

4. You allow the pain an ex caused you to keep you from venturing into new love, suspicion based on past hurt.

5. You want the benefits of a relationship/ marriage but without making the person giving you those benefits your official lover/ spouse.

6. Even when you make it official you want to keep it a secret just in case you two break up.

7. You have a good person in your life; you get jealous and scared at the thought of that person loving someone else but you still don’t make the person officially yours. You refuse to seal the deal and don’t want that person to seal the deal with another.

8. You enjoy more pleasuring yourself sexually than the chemistry between you and another to the point that you can live without a sexual connection with a real person.

9. You have sex buddies who meet your sexual needs; but love and intimacy, genuine bonds is out of the question.

10. You silently rejoice when relationships and marriages collapse because you feel it confirms your notion that love is dead, such news make you feel safe you are not in a relationship.

11. You want a baby but not a partner to raise that baby with.

12. You have built walls around you to chase away people claiming you don’t want to make your heart vulnerable. You cannot love and not be vulnerable.

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13. Real love comes your way, you love the person back but out of misplaced fears you can’t take the next step.

14. You keep looking at all the many chances to find true love you wasted, all the good suitors who came your way in your “singlehood” that you let slip away and you don’t know why you chased them if not because of the fear of actually being in love.

15. You’ve been single for so long that you’ve become used to loneliness and being alone that the thought of letting someone in no matter how good they are scares you.

16. Your past relationship/ relationships messed up because of you or your ex made you feel you were to blame or you were not good enough and so you feel inadequate and with low self-esteem. You feel rusty, that you will commit and mess up again.

17. Your parent’s marriage was a complete disaster and so you fear any real relationship leading to marriage; scared of hurting and being stressed like your mother/ father.

18. You have been misused, abused and cheated on that you now settle for casual flings and you run away from serious suitors because you don’t know how serious love looks like, scared because in serious love the stakes are too high.

19. You have built a glossy, independent world around your job, profession, financial success, academics and fun; and despite you desiring love you don’t know how to start, how to be vulnerable. A professional in career but an amateur in love. You are scared to depend on someone and potentially put your “singlehood” empire at risk.

20. Sex has brought you pain, either through rape or feelings of being used and so you feel committing will introduce sex into your fragile life and sex is something you dread.

21. You have secrets in your past you are ashamed of and committing to someone means revealing them so you keep off getting yourself in situations of love that will force you to reveal your true self including your past.

22. You commit to someone good and then you break up with the person, then want the person back. You are half-way in, half-way out, doubting your readiness.

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as “The Artist Inspired by Love” because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE” is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

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